WordPressing Onwards

You may notice I changed my blog layout. Yay for me! It took a depressingly long time to tweak everything. I was all “Widgets? Are they chewy? Sure, I guess I’ll try a couple.” Let’s just say I’m not the most tech savvy individual. Which is ironic because for my shop, I am my own IT guy. Everything I know about tech support I learned from the British tech tutorial The IT Crowd.

Primarily I’m afraid I’ll do something that will alter everything and I won’t know how to undo it ever again. To this day there’s a damn pin it button that haunts my web browser. PIN IT! It cries in the night…. pin it. Happy Halloween, pin it ghost button. I don’t know how it got there yet it pops up on top of every single picture I look at. And yes, I’ve tried turning the computer off then back on again.

Anyway, I’m pretty pleased with my slightly changed blog. Going thru this process got me thinking about all those templates. I googled WordPress Jewelry theme. Are those actual real websites? If not, what bracelets do the templates offer? And people make all sorts of fan jewelry, is there WordPress fan jewelry? Can I pin it? Just kidding, I never pin anything. I’m hoping eventually my pin it ghost will become discouraged and leave. So. How meta would you like to be this morning? Very? Good, come sit next to me.

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On one pretty jewelry blog layout I found this sparkler. They call it the “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet” bracelet. Ah, so true, there is no one who loves pain. Which is probably the pain of all the jewelry on this site named the same thing.

The bracelet blurb was very informative:
Remember that barbarians liked all shiny and bright things even if those were absolutely useless. Probably we have inherited this weakness.

I think I might like these barbarians.

The one thing that would keep me from pulling the trigger on imaginarily purchasing this bracelet is the math. Somehow it doesn’t totally add up. Looks like they confused the discount amount of $4 with the discount amount + tax on the original cost. I’m sorry imaginary online boutique, but you can’t throw tax into a discount total, especially when you don’t actually remove the tax. Why, if you were a real business I would shake my fist at you so hard.

Oh I forgot to mention that this template sells both Cartier and Jessica Simpson jewelry. Now that is a combo!

All of these mockup templates cracked me up in their details. There is the “Jewelry for Real Ladies” template. 50% off now with the discount code dungeon. Any time you’ve got to include the descriptor “real” in front of the word “ladies”, I assume you are talking about one of two types of people. Prostitutes and/or drag queens. The dungeon discount code doubles down on my suspicions.

Finally I moved on to check Etsy for WordPress fan jewelry. Of which I found something but It wasn’t what I had hoped.

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This one boutique IreneDesigns2011 turns up in the search. Everything of hers, I can’t figure out why. It doesn’t look like fan jewelry right?

Anyway, it’s time to address my final question. Yes, you can pin all of these things. Now, what’s a widget?

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15 Fall DIYs That Will Make Any Fall Lover Rejoice

Getting up this morning I realized I have ZERO Halloween/Fall themed bracelets. I just read this great post by Lame Adventures about Candy Corn, which I love. Apparently it’s not a popular candy. WHAT! Candy Corn is the ESSENCE of candy. Corn syrup. That’s all. CANDY. But so, I think I need to do this little Candy Corn DIY and make myself a Candy Corn bracelet. It will probably keep until next year because, unfortunately, this project is a little late for today.

Crafted in Carhartt

15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY PUMPKIN BOWLS
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY APPLE CIDER IN APPLE CUPS
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY APPLE VOTIVES
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY CANDY CORN NECKLACE
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY CANDY CORN GARLAND
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY CANDY CORN T-SHIRT
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY STICK HEART
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY JEWELRY ORGANIZER
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY LEAF DECORATIONS
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY INFINITY LEAF SCARF
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY PUMPKIN SEED GRANOLA
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY PUMPKIN SEED TRAIL MIX
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY GIANT POMPOM BEANIE
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY ELBOW PATCHES
15 Fall DIYs / Crafted in CarharttDIY JACKET EMBROIDERY

Happy Halloween! What is it about fall that gets you in the crafting mood? I’ve put together a list of 15 seasonal crafts that can be just for fun, help bring life to a fall party, or add to any Thanksgiving celebration. The thing I like about the projects above is that they can be done on the cheap. Creativity mixed with a little elbow grease can go a long way.

1. DIY PUMPKIN BOWLS
2. DIY APPLE CIDER IN APPLE CUPS
3. DIY APPLE VOTIVES
4. DIY CANDY CORN NECKLACE
5. DIY CANDY…

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10.30.14 pressing pumpkin update!

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Today’s bracelets are my Elsa Peretti X, a Tiffany’s cuff, and a Tiffany’s heart bracelet strung through my dad’s 2010 World Series ring he bought for himself.

Good news, everyone! Not only did the lonely little pumpkin reappear on its stoop (maybe it was brought inside instead of stolen- phew), my pumpkin friend is still there AND a new pumpkin with stickers joined the two of them. It’s a bat pumpkin. This makes me super happy. It’s ridiculous. I clearly no longer have any control over my emotions.

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Down the street there is some great Halloween décor, but the trio of pumpkins is still my favorite.

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Three Times a Charm

As you may know, the Giants won the World Series last night. Three times in six years! I cried. I cried because of that same now pointless muscle memory that just keeps sucker punching me in the face.

After my World Series post the other day I did some further research on this whole Tiffany’s World Series charm business, and thanks to Pinterest found the 2010 and 2012 charms. I checked Tiffany’s just now and the newest one isn’t out yet. But I’d probably consider getting it for myself when it is.

Enjoy some Tiffany’s charms and then game day pics of my dad and me. It gives new meaning to “throwback Thursday”.

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Even my dogs are fans.

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My dad’s like “I’ll smile, but there’s a game going on, you know.”

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I think this is opening day 2013. Yep, my dad tucked that doofy flag in his shirt collar. He had kind of a silly side to him once in a while.

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I have no explanation as to why all my selfies mirror image themselves on my iPad. But this was from Metallica night! We both look tired…from rocking out so hard.

IMG_2930.JPG The irony that our last game together was an A’s game. SMH. I just noticed the guy sitting behind me is totally peering over my head.

10.29.14 no coconuts

IMG_2919.JPG One of the interesting things about long term relationships is you continue learn about your partner, and yourself thru them.

For example, my husband and I were driving to the supermarket the other day and I brought up the saying “first is the worst, second is the best, third is the blue bird sitting in the nest” (alternate ending is “third is the man with the hairy hairy chest”)… He had never heard this before! Granted, he grew up all over the place but not here, where I did. So I figure this must be a regional saying.

I know for a fact Ro Sham Bo is SF regional, but that’s a game not a saying. Rock, paper, scissors is what everybody else calls it.

But then I wondered about other kid rhymes. “No cuts, no butts, no coconuts”? Nope. I asked what he said to the kids who cut in line, and he didn’t offer much by way of explanation.

I didn’t even bother with the girl oriented ones like “Cinderella, dressed in yella, went downstairs to kiss her fella, by mistake she kissed a snake, how many doctors did it take?” I can pretty much guarantee my honey did not double dutch.

Just now I thought of “trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat”, he’s got to know that one, right? I’m texting him STAT.

BREAKING UPDATE: he knows the trick or treat one!

Today’s bangles are my Elsa Peretti X, a skinny white Calèche, a skinny pink Calèche, and the skinny white Grand Apparat.

What did you say as a kid? Do you recognize any of mine?

How to Get Away with Forever

This fall I was very excited for two TV shows: How to Get Away with Murder and Forever. Both are crime solving dramas with a twist. I anticipated How to Get Away with Murder to be the better of the two, but now 6 or 7 episodes in, I realize Forever is.

Why’s that, Margaret? You may ask. Well, for a variety of reasons.

(Wouldn’t it be funny if I ended this post right there after that sentence?)

Both shows star excellent actors. It’s when we get to the secondary and tertiary ones that there’s an issue.

For HTGAWM the tertiaries are great (Hello, Paris from the Gillmore Girls- you are awesome!), but it’s the secondaries that suck. I’m sorry but Alfred Enoch who plays Wes may be beautiful, but his acting depth is flat as cardboard. The fellow law students aren’t much better with the exception of Matt McGorry who is also excellent in Orange is the New Black. But maybe that’s how the characters are written? It’s great that they have a smart gay character, but really? Must he be the oversexed, promiscuous gay man stereotype? I suppose it’s a credit that he’s not super mince-y and flamboyant. But in a show as actively diverse as HTGAWM these are small complaints.

My big complaint is the dawdling repetitious flash forwards. We get it! They must hide a murder during a school bonfire and that one girl lost her engagement ring, must we cover this same ground every week? Stop with the stupid flash forwards already. Really, the flash forwards just drag and drag and drag. I don’t understand the purpose. I want action! And court room! And Viola Davis torn between trust and distrust in her home. Is she a badass? Yes sir. Let’s focus all of the plot on her because she carries the show. Stop wasting our time with these boring but pretty first year law students.

Now Forever is also a show that very heavy handedly relies on the flash device. But episodes flash back in time instead of forward. Which is fascinating because Henry Morgan’s lived in NY for a hundred years. I’m so intrigued by the evolution of the city, and Forever very liberally offers us glimpses of this.

Also interesting is the concept of Henry Morgan’s immortality and repeated resurrections. He dies, and pops up naked in the river after a varying amount of time. He has a unique relationship with death, which they examine in the show. So interesting! My one issue is this: what happens to his clothes? They aren’t left behind at the scene of his death even though his pocket watch sometimes is, but they aren’t on him at his resurrection. Do they go to that same place as all the mates of my socks? Can you please address this issue, writers of Forever? It bothers me every time.

My other issue is his wife Abigail and her god awful English accent. Stop it, fellow Americans. Stop doing your bad English accents. Either perfect the accent or change the character, make her American. Abigail’s “Fancy a spot of tea? Mind the gap!” fools no one. She IS the weakest link.

Finally, Forever could use a couple of non-white characters. I guess there is Vee from OITNB as the head cop (Sergeant or Captain maybe?) but that’s it. If Ioan Gruffudd wasn’t so talented and spectacularly good looking I would ask why do we need another white male starring police procedural? But he is both, so I ask instead, why aren’t there more non-white characters? It’s a cop show, there’s plenty of opportunity for it.

Anyway, I mentioned earlier Henry Morgan’s pocket watch. I have a real soft spot for pocket watches, especially antique ones.

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This is the white gold vintage Hamilton pocket watch I gave to my honey from Hutten Jewelers. I know I’ve mentioned before Isabel and Robertino and their old world charm. This watch was a fraction of the price of the new non-gold Hamilton watches. And it’s beautiful.

With all of us using our cell phones as our clocks, not many people wear time pieces any more. But I see vintage/antique beauties like hits one everywhere. Secondhand stores, Ebay, Etsy.

Here’s one I found on Etsy, also a Hamilton, for $339.

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There you have it. I recommend both HTGAWM and Forever, but I recommend Forever more. And pocket watches are da bomb! (Sorry for the flashback to 1996)

10.28.14 concentrate and ask again later

IMG_2915.JPG There will be no end of orange and black in October. The amount of orange walking around SF today is impressive. Smart retailers should always send their surplus orange clothing to stores in our town. And Detroit. Because who buys orange? San Franciscans do. I’ve got my orange poof coat, orange (well coral) pants, orange dress, orange scarves. How much orange do you have in your closet? Probably not as much as I.

Anyway, today is kind of exciting. Grab a seat, my dear readers, because I’m about to tell you about IVF.

Today was the first ultrasound to start the process, which, if you recall, is round two for me and my husband. I’m trying not to be someone who fixates on it, because that only leads to disappointment. For that reason I plan to not blog about it all the time, either. Just be all casual like, you know?

But it’s so interesting, I thought people might like to know what it involves. If I only knew about this stuff when I was in school, I think I’d consider it as a career. And then, oh! The bangles I could buy!!

I’m going through IVF because I have a low egg reserve and I produce few eggs. My follicle count (yep! Like hair follicles, your eggs grow in follicles in your ovaries) is naturally about 1 or 2 per month. Most women are closer to 6 or 8. When one of the eggs reaches a mature size, you ovulate, which means the follicle ruptures releasing the egg. So even though usually just one egg releases, many others grow but don’t release and become reabsorbed. IVF tweaks your hormones to encourage follicular development and to hold off the ovulation process so as to collect multiple mature eggs.

My IVF process is called the Antagonist Protocol, which I’m certain my mother would agree is an apt name for any process of mine. Right now I’m taking some 25 or so vitamins, then in two days I start some baby aspirin and a giant antibiotic.

November 4th we get down to the shot business. For about two weeks, my honey shoots me in the gut morning and evening with a bunch of hormones to stimulate the follicles into production. Fortunately these shots do NOT make me a crazy lady. Unlike when I was taking these oral hormones similar to Clomid that made me so angry. I got in a fight with my honey about dinner and I was all “if he doesn’t want dinner, fine! Then we will never have dinner again! Fuck dinner!” And I threw out ALL of our food. There was even a moment in that mania where I stopped to question my actions, to analyze if I was acting crazy and then I was like “Nope! This is not crazy. He needs to be taught a lesson!”

So the injections are much preffered. But our neighbors must think we’re junkies because there we are, sitting in the living room, my honey injecting me in the gut for all the people across the street to see.

During this period of time, I pop over to Kaiser every other day or so to get blood tests and ultrasounds that monitor the growth progress. Which is super easy because we are just three blocks away from Kaiser.

Then, when the follicles reach the correct size, they harvest the eggs by knocking me unconscious. That same day they collect my husband’s “specimen”. That’s doctor code for he has to retreat to a closet in the office to jerk off into a cup. Making babies is sooooo romantic!

They combine the best quality eggs with the sperm, and presto! Test tube embryos! And then we wait three or five days (fingers crossed for five) as the cells divide. Judging on the quality of the embryos, they then return a small number to me.

And then we wait two weeks. Which is the worst worst worst part. There’s a little “what to expect about the process” video they make you watch that is all scientific until this part where the doctor says “Those two weeks will feel like they last forever.” The doctor! The other funny part of the video was after reinsertion the doctor says “Don’t worry, the embryos won’t fall out.” Clearly that is everyone’s concern so they had to address it.

My goals this time (which I have absolutely no control over) are to produce enough eggs, have enough of them fertilize properly so as to have left overs to put into deep freeze. It’ll save me from going through the injections again which also cuts down on the cost. Shit be expensive! Oh, to think of all the bangles I could have 😦

Final share about the process, this is where the magic of life kicked in. Some of my dad’s life insurance payments arrived just when the bills started. So it’s still going on the credit card for the points, but we have the cash to pay for it in our bank account. It makes me cry, I’m so grateful to my dad.

Anyways, there’s that. Lessons here: always sign up for life insurance, and ladiezzz, no matter your age you might want to ask your OB about your follicle count. I don’t know if my life would be different if I had known at age 28, but maybe. Any questions?

Today’s bangles are silver Goodwill find, a stone Goodwill find, orange and black Clic Clacs.

World Series Star Bangle

The other day someone found my blog by searching “2014 world series star bangle” which is pretty awesome. At least I thought so, until I realized no, this is not a fellow bangle and baseball officiando, this is some dumbass who thinks the song is the Star BANGLE banner. SMH so hard.

Because I am occasionally helpful I figure I’ll give that star bangle googler the object of their literal search. Now I don’t know if they were a Royals fan or a Giants fan, so I hunted down jewelry for both.

IMG_2910.JPG Kansas city Royals. They have that one pitcher with the evil eyebrows. Not Guthrie, he’s the Mormon pitcher. For their fans Fans Edge offers this $14.95 silver “tone” bracelet. Silver tone means it’s not sterling, which maybe matters to you maybe doesn’t. I don’t even know enough about Kansas City to make a crack about it by saying “oh you people from that fancy Kansas City neighborhood don’t even want it when it’s sterling”… Like they are so fancy that it’s got to be pearls and sapphires or bust. But hey, at least I chose the correct colors of your baseball fan fancy gems.

For the fancy Giants fan there is Daniels Jewelers special edition sterling five charm bracelet for $539.95 $269.95.

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Rumor is too that Tiffany’s makes annual world series champion charms. Alas, the Giants charms from 2010 and 2012 are not to be found.

For the non fancy Giants fan we have this collectible piece.

IMG_2912.JPG Made from SF Giants beads and old barbie shoes. I’m not certain what Barbie shoes have to do with baseball, but so I’m guessing this $5.50 bracelet is not licensed by either Mattel or MLB. What you save in price you sacrifice in official licensing. Either way, there’s plenty of tiny black and orange high heels to go around.

Now don’t feel all left out and butt hurt Yankees fans. Your late 90s and Jeter glory may be over but if you act fast there’s a sterling silver Yankees charm bracelet on the Goodwill website. Auction closes Oct 29. There’s currently just the two bids which put the bracelet at $20.99.

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IMG_2914.JPG I took a brief break from typing to consult with Leroy on his baseball jewelry needs. It turns out he’s not all that interested in this blog post. So there’s that. Not everyone is a baseball fan. For the rest of you, enjoy the game tonight!

Men and hair and silver bracelets

Who watched The Walking Dead last night? How about The Talking Dead after? Did anybody else notice Slash’s jewelry?

IMG_2905.JPG This picture is from Mary Lynn Rajskb’s twitter account @rajskb. You may recognize her from 24. I, however did not, but from being Gail the Snail on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

But Slash. The man has a thing for silver. I know the hair, the hat, and the sunglasses are his trademark but does anyone ever see his eyeballs? This is coming from someone who frequently wears her sunglasses indoors. They are prescription lenses! I think the people at the supermarket understand.

Anyway, in my post from the other day Jack Flacco mentioned that my turquoise cuff bracelet looked like something Robert Plant would wear. He was so right! Look at this picture I found.

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(mid 1970s, Near Chicago, Illinois, USA — Robert Plant With Folded Arms — Image by © Neal Preston/CORBIS)

So much hair too. Sometimes I love a man with long hair, but I’m sorry Robert Plant, let me recommend a deep conditioning treatment for your whole situation there. Maybe the barber of Kashmir can do something with it.

Now Lenny Kravitz, man. This formerly big haired, much bejeweled rockstar made my tweenage heart beat faster.

IMG_2904.JPG I’m experiencing some serious heart palpitations even now! As I type! *fanning myself* Did you guys know he used to date Vanessa Paradis? The things you discover when you google Lenny Kravitz 1992.

Do you all see the connection between these men? Big ass hair that would put the ladies of Texas to shame, general shirtlessness (not on TTD obvi, but often you will find Slash shirtless) and huge statement wrist décor.

I guess if you swap out the shirtlessness for cowboy boots you could say these men are my style icons? :/ Nah, I’ll stick with Karen from Californication plus more bracelets as my style icon.

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White girls be like…

Me. White girls be like me. But I’ve got a plurality of passports that sometimes confuses the issue. As a Brazilian citizen, I’m required to vote or risk forfeiture of my passport. And guess what? After spending an entire Sunday in line with every other Brazilian from the Bay Area and finally getting my vote on, even after that there’s a run off election. So I must go back today, stand in line some more, and vote again. It doesn’t help that I don’t speak Portuguese.

The stick of it is, without the language but with papers I feel like such a fraudulent citizen. T’as une question? Mais biensûr, évidemment je parles français. And Spanish? I can do a little of that too. However, pào do queijo. Feijoada completa, cafe com leite. Não, não falo Portugues. It’s probably about time I consider the Rosetta Stone for Brazilian Portuguese before I accidentally insult Pelé. But why get Rosetta Stone when I can get deez stones!?!

IMG_2896.PNG Available at the National Geographic store for $98.99, it’s probably a fourth of the Rosetta price. That’s what my national heritage comes down to, buying gem stone bracelets from my birth country at the National Geographic store. I think there might be some backwards exoticism tucked away in there to boot.

But who am I voting for? Oh yes, Presidential candidate number 45 because that’s what my Auntie told me to do. This is some informed voting right here, folks. Candidate 45 is a he. Fortunately somebody in that wrap around the block voting line vouched for him as a candidate. So. Yay?

Does this H Stern bracelet look like a dangling chad at all?

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H Stern is basically the Tiffany’s of Brazil. If you answer yes to my question then I can gift wrap the “Code bracelet in 18k yellow golf and diamonds” into this voting + corruption + Brazil topic. Yes? Yes.

But even after the run off election today voting is STILL not complete, because we’ve got our elections in the USA too. I should probably invest in something heartier than the free “I voted” sticker.

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Thank you TraciKennedy on Etsy for filling this need for $3.75.

November 4th is voting day. I remember because it’s my best friend’s baby’s birthday. Her name is Annabel. I think 2 might be too young for bracelets as a birthday gift. But how about voting? Giving her the chance to vote sounds like an okay gift, right? I’m a bit rusty on all the rules, and not having kids I’m not always certain on what they like. Somebody told me they like cardboard boxes, and a voting booth is pretty much a glamorized box.

I’ll just tell her to vote the same as me, early and often. Ordem e Progresso, amirite? Educated voting be damned. I’m having a hard enough time keeping all the dates straight.