When bracelets stop being polite and start getting real…

Lame. Real lame.

Guys? I feel like I really need to address something pretty effing disturbing. The Walking Dead online shop offers just one dinky little Livestrong type bracelet.

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I’m, um, well, I’m bothered.

*clears throat*

This just seems like something the Walking Dead crew pussed out on. I might even go so far to say that as fan, I’m insulted by this bracelet. Insulted by crappy $6.99 rubber bracelets! And it’s out of stock. Which I just don’t understand because I’m certain the manufacturer defaults LITERALLY to quantities of ten thousand. So they’ve already sold at least ten thousand units of crappy bands? Who is buying that shit?

There’s probably a floating trash heap in the Atlantic the size of Georgia made up exclusively of Livestrong bracelets. Why’s TWD getting in on that pollution? The Livestrong bracelets are basically the zombies of the bracelet world. Imagine, that pollution herd of stupid, highly contagious bracelets that eat away at your pocketbook. Before you know it your arm is swarmed with colors: yellow Livestrong, pink Breast Cancer Awareness, red Micah’s Bar Mitzvah, black Free Car Wash Giveaway. White The Walking Dead.

*hangs head*

Save yourself. Whatever you do, don’t let this bracelet latch onto your wrist. And come on, The Walking Dead, I hold you to a higher standard.

P.S. My honey gave me the side eyes for using the term “pussed out” so I apologize for using strong language but sometimes it’s the best way to communicate an emotion.

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