Ghost dad LOL

Alanna from White Girls Be Like posted a challenge, a competition! She’s hosting a Funny Blog Friday which sounds pretty alright. Since I’m competitive, and I like to think I’m funny despite my total inability to remember punchlines, I raised my hand.

But then I started re-reading my blogs. Turns out grief, bracelets, and infertility don’t make for a rollicking good time. So here’s a collection of my worst, darkest, least funny, most painful, absolutely terrible thoughts recently. Let me welcome you to rock bottom.

-If my dad were still alive we’d probably go to the baseball game tonight.
-My dad was the only person to ask me how my day went.
-It’s getting darker earlier and soon I’ll be walking home from work in the dark. Because my dad used to be my ride home and now he is dead. And nobody asks me how my day went anymore.
-How many rounds of IVF would it take to bankrupt my honey and me?
-If we do get pregnant, this kid will probably be an asshole because we’re over invested in the process.
-At the very least, he’ll have no toys. Because we spent all our money on making him.
-I don’t think my dogs like me as much as they used to and they’ll probably hate me if I get pregnant.
-Someday everybody I love will die, I think that’s how the lyrics go.
-If my husband and I both die with some frozen embryos still in the bank, will my brothers destroy the embryos? Even after all this hard work and money spent?
-What if my honey dies first?
-What if I die first with frozen embryos in the bank? Would my honey remarry?
-What kind of a woman would marry a widower who brings his own frozen embryos to the table?
-Obviously my destroyed frozen embryos and I must haunt my honey and his new wife if he decides to ditch the embryos.
-Will my dogs like my husband’s new wife better then me?
-Can I haunt them too?
-Will they even care?
-Dogs are probably only afraid of ghosts when the ghosts are haunting paper bags.
-When I’m not haunting my husband and his new wife, my afterlife will be spent haunting paper bags. Paper bags. While my husband and his new wife will be busy getting pregnant super easily.
-At least I’ll have my destroyed embryos to keep me company. And my dad. Who will definitely ask me how my day went.
-I’ll need to remember to update my dad on the whole paper bag situation.
-Maybe we can bring one to a ball game, depending on haunting policies.
-Or are there ghost leagues? I’d probably prefer those.

LOL bangle by Archetrend is available for $9.50

28 thoughts on “Ghost dad LOL

  1. These are such sad thoughts 😦 I did find all of your haunting amusing though, especially when you and your embryos were going to haunt your husband and his new wife.. oh goodness! Everything is going to be fine and your IVF will go wonderfully 🙂

    1. Thanks, Heather. I know it’s not medically recommended but my fingers are crossed for multiple implantations. Get this all done in one blow, and make the process more cost effective 😉

  2. I hope this comes out the right way but you somehow managed to write that stuff in a way that was…enjoyable to read…but certainly not hilarious, just well written & smartly said, dark humor but I think nobody can blame you for having morbid thoughts after what you’ve gone through=(

    1. Thanks for saying that, Susan. It feels like there’s a really delicate balance to showing real hurt and readability. I do care about readability, and my bleak thoughts aren’t the entirety of my thoughts. I didn’t want the post to be too brutal.

      1. It’s sad when you think about a person wanting to express their pain but worrying about how it’ll make other people feel, especially when so many other bloggers are strangers really. I think it can be done in a compelling way but if I tried it I would probably frighten people off. In the end I think we should write whatever want as long as we’re not trying to hurt someone or divulging their personal information without permissions…sometimes the dark stuff needs a home and a blog is a good place for it. =)

  3. Love stream of consciousness writing….no going back, editing…oh that didn’t sound good type stuff…just let it flow.

  4. What can I say except, I would like to reblog this at my place. Your dark side is nicely shared. Thanks for following me, and though I am not a jewelry guy, what I’ve seen I have liked, even the predator.

    1. Thank you 🙂 I don’t know if you saw my other post but I really pride myself on writing for everyone, not just jewelry lovers. So I really appreciate you for saying that 🙂

  5. How was your day Margaret?
    I lost my father when I was 8, that is the least I can relate to.
    It is hard to really understand what someone goes through and how, I know for sure that you are a strong person. God is with you, I believe there is always a bigger picture to look up to, we might not understand why things happen but I know why is not always the right question.

    You are a gift to all of us, it is a blessing to meet someone like you. 🙂

    1. Your note means a lot to me. I’m sorry for your loss. I never realized until my dad died the weight of grief, and the people who have carried it before me. It gives me a lot of perspective and sympathy for what other people, like you, have gone thru. So thank you.

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