WordPressing Onwards

You may notice I changed my blog layout. Yay for me! It took a depressingly long time to tweak everything. I was all “Widgets? Are they chewy? Sure, I guess I’ll try a couple.” Let’s just say I’m not the most tech savvy individual. Which is ironic because for my shop, I am my own IT guy. Everything I know about tech support I learned from the British tech tutorial The IT Crowd.

Primarily I’m afraid I’ll do something that will alter everything and I won’t know how to undo it ever again. To this day there’s a damn pin it button that haunts my web browser. PIN IT! It cries in the night…. pin it. Happy Halloween, pin it ghost button. I don’t know how it got there yet it pops up on top of every single picture I look at. And yes, I’ve tried turning the computer off then back on again.

Anyway, I’m pretty pleased with my slightly changed blog. Going thru this process got me thinking about all those templates. I googled WordPress Jewelry theme. Are those actual real websites? If not, what bracelets do the templates offer? And people make all sorts of fan jewelry, is there WordPress fan jewelry? Can I pin it? Just kidding, I never pin anything. I’m hoping eventually my pin it ghost will become discouraged and leave. So. How meta would you like to be this morning? Very? Good, come sit next to me.

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On one pretty jewelry blog layout I found this sparkler. They call it the “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet” bracelet. Ah, so true, there is no one who loves pain. Which is probably the pain of all the jewelry on this site named the same thing.

The bracelet blurb was very informative:
Remember that barbarians liked all shiny and bright things even if those were absolutely useless. Probably we have inherited this weakness.

I think I might like these barbarians.

The one thing that would keep me from pulling the trigger on imaginarily purchasing this bracelet is the math. Somehow it doesn’t totally add up. Looks like they confused the discount amount of $4 with the discount amount + tax on the original cost. I’m sorry imaginary online boutique, but you can’t throw tax into a discount total, especially when you don’t actually remove the tax. Why, if you were a real business I would shake my fist at you so hard.

Oh I forgot to mention that this template sells both Cartier and Jessica Simpson jewelry. Now that is a combo!

All of these mockup templates cracked me up in their details. There is the “Jewelry for Real Ladies” template. 50% off now with the discount code dungeon. Any time you’ve got to include the descriptor “real” in front of the word “ladies”, I assume you are talking about one of two types of people. Prostitutes and/or drag queens. The dungeon discount code doubles down on my suspicions.

Finally I moved on to check Etsy for WordPress fan jewelry. Of which I found something but It wasn’t what I had hoped.

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This one boutique IreneDesigns2011 turns up in the search. Everything of hers, I can’t figure out why. It doesn’t look like fan jewelry right?

Anyway, it’s time to address my final question. Yes, you can pin all of these things. Now, what’s a widget?

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3 thoughts on “WordPressing Onwards

  1. new layout = boss πŸ˜€ I saw a site today that sells knock off Hermes bangles… I thought of you!!! That’s the only way I could ever afford them… #medschoolproblems

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