10.25.14 pumpkin on the run

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IMG_2901.JPG So…. I did something. Remember the forlorn pumpkin from yesterday? I spent the day imagining the little kid who made it. He or she must be two or three. You know, too young to carve a pumpkin but old enough to want a pumpkin and to decorate it.

There’s a corner store on my walk to work that sells gourds (and Christmas trees, oddly, but that’s a different story) so I decided to get the sad pumpkin a friend. I was super pleased with myself until I arrived at the stoop. The sad little pumpkin was gone! With just a dirt ring to show where it used to be. I think some jerk probably stole it. It’s kind of a busy street like that, in the middle of the city.

I was in a quandary. Now my friend pumpkin would be all by itself if I left it. But the poor kid would have no pumpkins if I didn’t. Who am I kidding? I still planned to leave the pumpkin. So I did. My pumpkin replacement slash offering. Complete with stickers. Happy Halloween, kid.

My bracelet’s today are two horn bangles, my silver Tiffany’s bangle from Christmas 1993, and my Tuareg ebony and pounded silver cuff I used to wear everyday in the year 2K.

Ghost dad LOL

Alanna from White Girls Be Like posted a challenge, a competition! She’s hosting a Funny Blog Friday which sounds pretty alright. Since I’m competitive, and I like to think I’m funny despite my total inability to remember punchlines, I raised my hand.

But then I started re-reading my blogs. Turns out grief, bracelets, and infertility don’t make for a rollicking good time. So here’s a collection of my worst, darkest, least funny, most painful, absolutely terrible thoughts recently. Let me welcome you to rock bottom.

-If my dad were still alive we’d probably go to the baseball game tonight.
-My dad was the only person to ask me how my day went.
-It’s getting darker earlier and soon I’ll be walking home from work in the dark. Because my dad used to be my ride home and now he is dead. And nobody asks me how my day went anymore.
-How many rounds of IVF would it take to bankrupt my honey and me?
-If we do get pregnant, this kid will probably be an asshole because we’re over invested in the process.
-At the very least, he’ll have no toys. Because we spent all our money on making him.
-I don’t think my dogs like me as much as they used to and they’ll probably hate me if I get pregnant.
-Someday everybody I love will die, I think that’s how the lyrics go.
-If my husband and I both die with some frozen embryos still in the bank, will my brothers destroy the embryos? Even after all this hard work and money spent?
-What if my honey dies first?
-What if I die first with frozen embryos in the bank? Would my honey remarry?
-What kind of a woman would marry a widower who brings his own frozen embryos to the table?
-Obviously my destroyed frozen embryos and I must haunt my honey and his new wife if he decides to ditch the embryos.
-Will my dogs like my husband’s new wife better then me?
-Can I haunt them too?
-Will they even care?
-Dogs are probably only afraid of ghosts when the ghosts are haunting paper bags.
-When I’m not haunting my husband and his new wife, my afterlife will be spent haunting paper bags. Paper bags. While my husband and his new wife will be busy getting pregnant super easily.
-At least I’ll have my destroyed embryos to keep me company. And my dad. Who will definitely ask me how my day went.
-I’ll need to remember to update my dad on the whole paper bag situation.
-Maybe we can bring one to a ball game, depending on haunting policies.
-Or are there ghost leagues? I’d probably prefer those.

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LOL bangle by Archetrend is available for $9.50

10.24.14 saddest lil pumpkin ever

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IMG_2894.JPG Isn’t this just dinky, and sad, and adorable, and pathetic, and cute? I love the Halloween décor that I encounter on my walk to work. But especially this one! It’s like somebody received a fragment of the Halloween memo. Yes, this tiny pumpkin is all by itself and decorated with stickers. Stickers! But still it sits proudly on the front stoop. Step to the beat of a different drum, tiny pumpkin!

Today on my wrist I’m wearing an orange Hermès Calèche, three turquoise and silver cuffs- the biggest one is from Taxco the others are Native American, and an orange Clic-Clac.

Games people play

You know that game “If you could live in any era, when would it be?” It’s not nearly as fun as FMK. But so, it always amazes me when people pick these supposedly glamorous times that actually would have sucked to a. live in and to b. live in as a woman and/or a person of color.

The Victorian Age probably ranks up there as one of those overly romanticized and actually probably pretty awful periods that are often picked. People seem to forget that the Victorians went to the bathroom in bowls in their bedrooms. They kept that container under the bed. Then they discarded it’s contents OUT THE WINDOW! It was a FILTHY time!

But damn, they made some pretty jewelries. This one is available on the Past Era website and can be yours for $6950!

IMG_2882.JPG I met the people from Past Era at the SF Fall Antiques Show. They were so nice and gracious when I asked them about their bracelets and if I could take pictures for my blog. Here’s my shot, a pile o antique bracelets.

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I think they were maybe even a little impressed with my 42 blog followers. Do not dare to correct me! *sigh* I would probably be okay with suffering through a little consumption to get my hands on one of those darlings.

If you want to talk eras, let’s talk Scythian. Dude. NEVER pick Scythian when you are playing the era game because what if some weird wormhole magically develops and instantly transports you to your era of choice and you just fucking picked SCYTHIAN! Do you like war? And tribal living? Raising ox for slaughter and starving to death during times of famine? How do you feel about pillaging and rape? Well you will love the Scythians! I mean, even if you picked the Scythians because of their gold work, you can just buy their gold now for the reasonable sum of $35000 from Ollemans.

IMG_2875.JPG If you give me the option of Mongolia under the reign of Genghis Kahn or Sycthians, I would pick Genghis Khan because I 💗💗🐴.

I guess after those last two picks, roaring twenties (another popular choice) has some appeal. But we’re talking life pre-Penicillin, women and blacks were still considered the legal property of men, and the Great Depression was looming on the horizon. No thank you!

If I could go back in time, to any time, first I would choose the time of dinosaurs, but being the only human would probably get kind of lonely. Then I’d choose 2 years ago because life was pretty good two years ago, and it would give me the chance to do some major things differently.

Now, FMK? Lorelai Gillmore, Darryl from the Walking Dead, Carl from the Walking Dead? Trick question because there’s two kills in there.

10.23.14 blue and gold

IMG_2880.JPG Today my UP gets a moment in the spotlight! It goes with the little turquoise bracelet so I figured, what the heck? It’s paired with my dad’s watch, which it turns out I have to wear to keep the time running. I’m also wearing a little Native American silver and turquoise cuff, and my asymmetrical brass wire cuff from Goodwill.

Dude, I am dragging today. My mom would blame the low barometric pressure and this funky weather we’re having in Sauna Francisco. It’s so warm! Hot even! And with our drought going on, I’m worried. I woke up the other morning smelling smoke, convinced something nearby was on fire. But it was a remanent of a dream. I blame my dragging on staying awake too late last night. And the low barometric pressure, I think my mom is right on that one.

Great news though, I sold a painting yesterday! So I hustled my butt this morning to get it to the shippers before work. Here it is below, it has a highly reflective surface so the glare is huge. Farewell “The Sub”! Hope you enjoy your new home in Minnesota! Better you than me!

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Antiquated excuses

You know that moment when you’re looking at something and you think to yourself “this is fancy, it’s got to cost at least X amount of dollars.” Then you check out the price tag and your eyeballs pop out of your head as you shout “Gazoooooga!” Because this item is one hundred times more expensive then you imagined, you know that moment? Well I experienced that at least three times tonight at the SF Fall Antiques Show.

It got to the point where I found this bracelet below, the one that spells out I LOVE YOU at $3800 and I was all “Finally, a good deal!”

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This was at the Lawrence Jeffrey booth where I also found this item…

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Can you see that? Do you SEE THIS THING? Are you interested in wearing a beautifully crafted necklace of decapitated black folks’ heads? Would you enjoy a jewelry piece that touches on the open wound of our slavery history, Orientalism, and the objectification of humans? The details are exquisite, gold earrings, turquoise accents. Perfect for your beloved KLANSMAN SLASH SERIAL KILLER! It’s just $13,800. For the person who likes to spend a lot of money on showcasing their bigotry.

Before you start saying, oh this is an antique, this celebrates the Moors (it’s a “blackamoor” necklace), it was different times, people didn’t know, etc. b.s. etc., before that let me tell you it was made in the 1950s. 1950s!! I’m pretty certain even way back then people mostly frowned upon a necklace of this style. AND this is not some kind of African artifact. It’s made in ITALY. Am I overreacting? I don’t think so but I’m interested in other people’s perspectives. Who wears this? And who buys this? It just boggles my mind.

I have other things to write about the Fall Antique Show, but this necklace, man, it deserved it’s own post. Seriously, what would you do with this necklace if you found it in your possession? Melt it down? Wear it? Give it to a friend? “Happy birthday, I got you this statement necklace. I think it’s a Stella & Dot piece.”

For real, what does one do with a necklace like this? On the one hand it’s made of highly valuable materials, on the other hand there’s absolutely everything else. I’m lost. This is that moment where I’m all ” Wha? Huh? Um, what?” while scratching away at my head. It just does not compute.

10.22.14 one great blog

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The other day Heather , the clever blogger behind HeatherBergdahl.com nominated me for a Lovely Blog, or One Great Blog. Being locked into a weird wordpress loop I can’t find the proper name for the thing :/ but I remember how it works!

First of all, I seriously enjoy reading Heather’s blog. I’m a bit of a medical groupie, I’ll admit it! And Heather writes sometimes about her experience in med school, and sometimes about pumpkins/fall (I fugging love Halloween season!), offers some calorie friendly recipes and ohhhh CUTE ANIMAL GIFS. How can you go wrong with cute animals!

IMG_2867.GIF Wot!?! I don’t know how to gif, I’m sorry. Also, do not even think of mentioning Monday to Heather. She and Garfield share some similar disinterests.

As for me, some facts I haven’t shared properly (I promise it’s not intense! I know I sometimes spring some heavy stuff on you all):

1. As a little girl I wrote a letter to the Tooth Fairy asking her to bring my dolls to life. I should point out this is, apparently, beyond the scope of the Tooth Fairy’s powers.

2. This is year two at my shop where I’ve displayed my haunted dollhouse. It is the same house where those aforementioned dolls resided. But a lot more black.

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3. Is it a compulsion to always keep one’s hands busy? If so, I compulsively make stuff. I paint, write (duh), knit, needlepoint, bake. That’s one of my paintings behind the dollhouse. And below is the shrug I recently knit and designed myself. I posted the free pattern on my shop’s blog Bath Sense, for my fellow knitters.

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4. My two doggies are Bandit and Leroy. I bring them to work with me, we are around each other pretty much 24/7. That’s Bandit on the left

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5. Today I’m wearing my Elsa Peretti X, my knot from Hiho Silver, Lorraine Jarbler’s ID bracelet (a Goodwill find), and my dad’s Rolex.

How many of these was I supposed to do? I feel like I just vomited info all over you guys and didn’t even give you a proper warning.

Now for the bloggers that I nominate all loosey goosey style. This part makes me shy, because I only follow blogs that interest me, I basically nominate everyone. But also I don’t want you to feel obliged, like this is some kind of chain letter you must heed or a black cat will cross your path and then you’ll be truly fudged. (How do folks feel about cursing? Because I almost cursed there but I restrained myself.)

So in the end, I nominate these blogs because I find them very interesting, would like to know more about them, they write about a variety of topics and I don’t recall reading recently one of these listy things in their blogs. AND I recommend you follow them too. You won’t be disappointed.

Blvck Fash Fanatique
Blogubarra
At the Library
Jack Flacco
Miss North
The Honking Goose
Dressed by Dressler

10.20.14 knot cross applesauce

IMG_2855.JPG Are you guys sick of my little knot bracelet yet? I’m knot!! *hysterical laughter* How about those rhinestone coasters, eh? I was waiting at my massage therapist for my appointment and they have some seriously snazzy coasters. The magpie in me forced me to seize the sparkly opportunity.

On the serious tho, my massage therapist is the best. Because of my accident I’ve got some recurring pain, and even with all my RXs for various pills, I’ve found the best treatment is Amy at Therapeia Massage. But that is not why I was there at Therapeia today. I figure massage therapy is so effective at pain management that it’s got to help my body become more hospitable for my upcoming IVF. So I’ve prescribed myself a regular regimen of massages. There are worse things in life 😸 Post massage I’m enjoying my day off practicing my best imitation of being a noodle. 🍝🍜

Taxco

No, this is not an accounting post.

Taxco, Mexico sits atop a great big silver mine. It’s from where (whence, dude, whence) most Mexican silver originates. In my collection my silver pieces are either Tiffany’s, Native American or Taxco. That was probably the single most snobbiest sentence I’ve ever written. All my jewels are Tiffany’s, dahling. And when I don’t shop Tiffany’s I jet down to Taxco. En e weigh, when a tumblr slash website Mexican Silver Store started following me, my eyes popped open. Mexican silver = candy for Margaret and I was not disappointed.

But what I did not anticipate is the copper. The copper! Wow, so pretty. I don’t have any copper jewelry, do you? Brass, silver, nickel, rubber, gold, sure but not copper.

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$79.95 for a pair of bangles! And I have the 10% discount code which is Tumblr

I probably won’t pull the trigger because it is actually pretty uncommon for me to buy the items I lust after but… I do want this! I must remind myself this is why I have a blog, to lust by proxy.

What do you think about the layered clamp bracelet?
Also $79.95

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Cleopatra would probably wear a set of matching ones on each wrist.

But hold up a second, here is the tour de force on the Mexican Silver website. Some background first. When my honey and I visit Mexico we stay at Cabo Pulmo which is in Baja where there are a lot of camarones to be had. This means, I order camarones for every single meal. So I MUST HAVE this skrimps bangle.

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It seems appropriate to express my food preferences via my bracelets. I am that type of lady. Hellllooooooooo Tiffany’s! Bet Tiffany’s is re-examining their database now and plink, I think I just heard my name removed from their mailing list.

It was worth it!! Je regrette rien! Come this way, camarones, I promise to offer you a nice home.

10.19.14 lazy sunday

IMG_2851.JPG Today is a football watching, novel reading, chip eating, dog napping lazy Sunday. How’s it in your neck of the woods?

Today’s bangles: turquoise and silver cuff stamped by Marie B., turquoise and silver bracelet my dad got in Mexico, and a silver and maybe amber cuff a former roommate picked up for me in Thailand.