Med Alert!

Last night’s episode of The Walking Dead started me thinking about a number of things.

First of all, how do you talk about a show without talking about a show? It’s tricky, isn’t it? Especially something like The Walking Dead where you don’t want to spoil anything for those who watch it on delay. My answer is this: talk about the show without talking about the plot.

For TWD there are so many hypotheticals. It’s easy to transition the conversation from when character X did this specific thing to if you were in the zombie apocalypse, would you grow tomatoes or squash? Squash is the correct answer because it grows like a mo fo. And needs less maintenance then tomatoes. It’s basically an edible weed. I know because I signed up for a CSA and I almost always received squash in my box. Getting some tomatoes was like hitting the jackpot, but you’ve got to eat them quickly before they rot. Squash tho? It can even double as a weapon.

You can also bring up the guest actors in the show, because usually that’s not a spoil. Last night’s episode was just a showcase of “Oh hey, isn’t that… from that other show?” I’m looking at you, kid from Everybody Hates Chris and co-star lady from Hello Ladies. I think she was also in a Metamucil commercial that aired during last night’s TWD episode. Fiber is always important, but if you are eating your squash you should be good without the additional supplements.

Now here’s the tricky part of talking about a show and keeping it spoiler free. Setting. Is it fair game or no? I kind of think everybody knew leading up to last night’s episode that Beth woke up in a hospital. But, if you are two weeks behind in watching maybe you didn’t. So I’m sorry if bringing up the hospital setting is a spoiler.

The hospital is very interesting to me. I’ve been hospitalized for a long stretch of time, I’m fascinated by all things medical. I might be a bit of a medical groupie even. Plus I’m going thru this IVF- look at all my drugs and vitamins!

IMG_2946.JPG You know those pictures on Instagram where people layout a bunch of bills and sometimes guns and weed. Like they are ballers, but really they’re just dumb schmucks who’ve cashed out $200 in singles? Well this picture is the IVF equivalent. I could probably save some money by developing a heavy cocaine habit and giving up on this folly known as reproduction.

Back on topic, though. For a bracelet related tie-in? Hospital is where it’s at.

For ages now I’ve had “fancy med alert bracelet” on my gift idea list for my brother, Newt. That is not his birth name, BTW. I should mention that he’s a grown ass man, but he is still Newt to me. So Newt is severely allergic to peanuts and I think a nice, masculine med alert bracelet would be both practical and thoughtful. But the right one is hard to find.

For a man, it’s got be classic and simple. I like this one from American Medical.

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I’m curious if this design is too subtle for the on the scene responders. I think they check for this kind of thing, but in the heat of the moment, does this style ever get mistaken for a regular bracelet?

This one stands out, with the red stamp and the watch like chain. You can even store your medical information on a little chip thingy. Which is hypothetically useful, but what EMT travels around with a micro chip reader? I think you should engrave contact info and the most important medical details on the bracelet. Save the “I sprained my knee in 6th grade PE” part of your medical history for the chip.

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Emergency contact phone number is crucial, you guys. I remember lying in the middle of Market Street, the sky was very blue, people asking me for a phone number, who they should call. I couldn’t remember, nothing came to me. And then I pulled 393-7626 out of some pocket of my mind, but it was my dad’s work number from when I was a little girl. Not at all current. Eventually, it all got figured out. This part I don’t remember.

But if numbers are on your wrist, your family finds out that much quicker that there is an emergency situation. Your emergency responders know if there’s a heart condition, or special medication or anything that might effect the outcome of their treatment. I should probably pull the trigger already on one of these bracelets for my brother.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best! I think that also applies to zombie apocalypse. So hey, go ahead and grow both the tomatoes and the squash.

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