99 Problems & A Bitch Is Definitely 1

Like literally. A female dog is my big problem today.

We’re dog watching a cute (?) shepard/collie mix this weekend. She is sweet, soft, loving, big, hungry for Leroy, and pulls on leashes. That’s right, she wants to eat Leroy.

Leroy looks like this ring to begin with, so it’s not a far stretch that someone would decide to try to eat him. I almost do on a daily basis because he’s pretty darn cute. But this is not cool. Two attempts now at eating him. NOT COOL, BIG DOG.

So the original plan was leave all the doggies at home today, since both my husband and I are working. But now we can’t leave her with Leroy. And Bandit & Leroy are a unit, so next solution? Bring them to the shop, leave BIG NAUGHTY DOG at our place.

EXCEPT. We left her by herself for 15 minutes and she got on the dining table. Ate an ink pad and knocked stuff off the table. I think that was the order of events. So now, Aaron drove her over to my shop, with the baby gate, and she’s trapped in my back room. Because she still must be separated from Leroy and Bandit. Not to mention, if she’s acting this way with my dogs? What might she do to a customer’s dog?? She’s back there now. CRYING. “Why?” She cries, “why do you punish me? Leroy looks so tasty, can you blame me?”

Uhoh, she’s quiet. I’m afraid to look.

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Barry Kieselstein Cord Bracelet
Boticca Hot Dog Ring
Boticca Origami Dog
Allurez Rose Gold Bone Necklace

Again? Yes, Again 1.23.2015

My apologies in advance. I have this stupid digital camera at my shop so I figured “what the heck, I’ll give you all some more of my face.” Then I filmed myself with something sticking me in the eye.

Here’s the basic script for those who can’t watch videos:
-Greeting
-Something sticks me in the eye (probably my own bangs)
-Bracelets
-Long shot of my collarbone as I fumble with the off switch

Just call me Maya Deren already and give me an Oscar. Side note, did Maya Deren ever get an Oscar? Also, I’m selling two of the bracelets on Chairish.com. The rhinestone bangle here and the turquoise and pink pearl one here

Lots of Likes

Lately I’ve been thinking about the liking of comments etiquette on WordPress. I don’t know about you all, but my process is to read a post, and only if I like it I do I then “like” it. I’m discriminating with my likes.

But when it comes to comment likes? No holds barred. I like them all across the board. It’s maybe a politeness thing, a sort of ‘thank you for replying I will now reward you with a like’, right? But so, why do they offer this feature if we all are sitting around in a like circle jerk? Was that too graphic? Did I just lose out on your like?

Don’t get me wrong, my likes make me happy and I appreciate both giving and receiving the likes. But I’m just wondering what it means if it’s so easy to dispense. Is there any value to a comment like?

Optima #like4like Necklace

Once More With Feeling

You guys? I made a mistake. I did not do Buffy a proper justice in yesterday’s post. I’m regretting my actions! Because I was so busy bragging about my relationship with The Walking Dead I completely neglected my most favorite show even though the post was intended to be all about Buffy. As the Beach Boys say, it wouldn’t be right to leave your best girl home on a Saturday night. Which has something to do with something.
Slayer Necklace
Maybe I’m a little embarrassed as to the extent of my fan-ishness? It encompasses all the comics as well as following Sarah Michelle Gellar on twitter. Who is super funny. I feel like a creeper admitting this. I read Buffy fanfiction. That is officially my deepest darkest secret. DON’T JUDGE ME!

Saint Laurent Sterling-Silver Necklace

I even have a Buffy fanfiction plot idea which is TOP SECRET but Cee and Dora will be glad to know it’s Spike based.
Gem of Amara
I suppose there are further depths to fall in the Buffy abyss. I could go to a panel or something. Or tattoo “what the what” across my forehead. Fortunately my life is not quite at that point. Yet. But I am on the BTVS call list at my local comic book store Comix Experience which is in and of itself mortifying.

So today’s Buffy question is circa season 4: When Spike (spoiler) escapes the Initiative, he already has the chip, how is he able to punch the various scientists and soldiers during the escape? Not even two minutes later in the episode he attacks Willow and clutches at his head in pain. What the what.

Saint Laurent Sterling-Silver Necklace on Polyvore
Gem of Amara available at I love swords
Vampire Slayer necklace available at The Geek Studio on Etsy

Buffy Thoughts 1.21.15

If you’ve been following my blog for more than a month you probably already know two things about me.
1. I love to write about The Walking Dead and 2. I like to list all the times I’ve written about TWD.
BOOM. Here I answered Dora & Cee’s TWD questionnaire
Here I found TWD jewelry for Dora
Here is about the Talking Dead
Here is the lame fan merch sold on AMC
And finally here, the Sex Ed Fail blog that started it all.
But what you all don’t know? Before TWD, there was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And you know what? It’s still just as good as back in college when I eagerly anticipated each Tuesday night’s new episode. I love it. And I’m rewatching it right now.
Grr Argh
Which leads me to my deep Buffy question of the hour.

What’s the Buffy team’s deal with the name William and its derivatives anyways? They’ve got 1. Spike AKA William the Bloody NÉE William Pratt 2. Angel NÉE Liam (Irish for William) 3. Willow AKA Will 4. Willy the Snitch and in the comics there’s 5. Billy the Boy Slayer. Does anybody know? Because that is a lot of Will-ish names for one show.

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Today’s bangles: silver bangle from my dad from 1993, silver bangle my dad gave my mom before then, Goodwill glass beads, Oneida spoon cuff, HiHo Silver knot cuff, 2 Swarovski crystal bangles.

Before anybody says anything: Yes “five by five” is a Faithism but my other Buffy needlepoint (beep me if there’s an apocalypse) didn’t turn out well.

Everybody’s a (terrible) Comedian

For some reason going to my IVF appointments brings out my inner comedian. I suppose “for some reason” actually should read “because humor is my defense mechanism” but so at today’s appointment I was killing it.
fertility frog
First there was the blood draw where I asked the nurse if I should remove my clothes. Then I added “I know not all my clothes, I learned that the hard way.” You see because they just need you to take off your jacket and I was implying I had fully disrobed at some previous blood draw.
Venus of Willendorf charm
Then during the follicle count process (which is the MOST awkward moment in the exam) I checked with the doctor if I could still go running. Then I asked if I could still be drinking wine. And then (ready those snare drums) I asked if it was okay to do both at the same time.
rabbit charm
Needless to say at NO point was anyone but myself amused. Such a bummer. That’s why I feel obliged to share with you all, my more or less captive audience, and the Pirate King. Because I thought that was some quality A grade humor. And I have 4 follicles. Which is 3 more than the “you are fired from IVF” round so that’s not awful news.

Fertility Charms:
Frog available at Across the Pond
Venus of Willendorf available at Charms4U on Etsy
Rabbit available at The Caring Society

A Pirate King Might Love Me 1.20.15

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Not to brag too much but I recently discovered a Pirate King is a big fan of my blog. For some reason he lives in a shack. But that’s fine, I don’t judge! I just think that maybe being King and all he might choose a pirate castle or something, but shack is cool too.

Anyways, he eased into the multitude of comments slowly.

Does running a well-established website such as yours take a large amount of work?

I was so flattered! “A well-established website such as mine”! Oh boy. And yes, Pirate King, it does take some work but not an overly large amount, thank you for asking.

Your means of describing the whole thing in this paragraph is really nice, every one be
capable of effortlessly know it

Again with the flattery, Pirate King. *blushes furiously* I suppose it would be cool for everyone to effortlessly know about my bracelet collection. Bracelets are pretty universal, right? I mean even a famous Pirate King is apparently into them so…

I suppose its good enough to use some of your ideas

Huh. Okay, I must admit this feels a bit like a back handed compliment. I’ll tell you up front, I don’t know how I feel about that, Pirate King.

This post could not be written much better! Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
He continually kept preaching about this. I am going to send this information to him. Fairly certain he will have a great read.

So you’re saying my post could be written better? I guess that’s fair. We all have room to improve. But I don’t know about this former roommate of yours. How did you both fit in a shack? Is he also a pirate? And why’s he preaching about bracelets? I mean, I can talk bracelets, man. But even I don’t proselytize about them. However, thanks for forwarding my blog on to him.

Everything is very open

Yeah, totally. Everything. A quick question, Pirate King, are we still talking jewelry?

But so, since the Pirate King is so interested in my bracelets, here’s today’s bangles: Hermes twilly wrapped bangle, a JKC ripped off by Chanel bangle, and my dad’s Baume & Mercier watch.

SF Muni Rabbit Hole

Unlike many SFers I love our public transportation system. Not Bart of course, duh. Nobody likes Bart. I’m talking about Muni. It’s our bus system. It covers the city, it is more reliable than people give it credit for, and, especially when you get a seat, it can be a downright pleasant experience.

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Being a Muni driver is a generally thankless job: one that is bitched about on twitter (looking at you @munidiaries), complained about to your face while managing fare jumpers, requires confrontations with unruly passengers, and includes chatty crazies who want to talk to you while you drive. All while negotiating the insanity of construction and traffic on San Francisco streets.

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All of this leads me to my question: what happened to saying “thank you” to the driver? It used to be a person exiting the bus would holler out “Thank you!” But now? Rarely do I hear this.

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Call me crazy, but I think the “thank you, Driver” should be brought back. So I do it, every ride, because it really is the absolute least that can be done to brighten someone’s day.

SF MUNI cufflinks by Jenny Reeves
SF MUNI cable care & token earrings Future History of SF on Etsy
SF MUNI transfer earrings by Passport to Paper on Etsy

The Other Monday 2007

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One of the very interesting things with memory is that to create and store a memory you must review regularly. Starting especially within the initial days following an event. So if something disrupts this process, especially when it’s something high adrenaline and stressful, the memories preceding it are easily forgotten. Which is how it’s so hard for me to piece together the prior week of dates out with my honey aka the guy from the bar.

That Monday (it was the 22nd of January), I woke up at my new boyfriend’s apartment early. We lived all of a ten minute walk away from each other so I dashed home where I dressed for work. I must have strapped my newish silver metallic bag to the back of my bike because it was returned to me later. I think I wore black pants and a white blouse, I definitely wore my long brown leather jacket, three squiggly little cheapo bangles, and a helmet. And then I got on my bike to ride to work.

I remember crossing onto Market Street, joining the bike lane. I also remember waiting at the red light on Octavia, in front of the freeway on ramp. Then the light changed green.

Next I remember pieces of a moment. At this point I’m not certain how real they are because it’s been eight years. But so the white truck to the left of me decided to make an illegal right hand turn onto the freeway.

I remember my surprise at the first impact. This “oh shit” feeling where I thought I was just going to lose my balance. Then the moment where I knew the situation was worse than that. Next there were people standing over me and I was both terrified and embarrassed to be laid out in the middle of the street blocking traffic. I wanted desperately to get up and go to work. I had an appointment! I had to leave. But they wouldn’t let me.

Most specifically there was a man. A very kind man with a goatee. A complete stranger who asked for phone numbers, he told me everything would be okay. And then he waited with me. I still don’t know his name.

Apparently the first phone number I remembered was my dad’s office number from when I was a little girl.

I sort of remember being in the ambulance. I know I was in immense pain, but when you aren’t in pain you sort of forget what pain is like. And then I have flashes of the emergency room. Being propped against a metal slab. My mom rushing in. The doctors saying I’d need a catheter and I started screaming. What? Catheters scare me. According to my mom that was when she knew that I’d be okay. At some point I had X-Rays, CAT scans, chest tubes inserted both in my right and left lungs, and a neck brace.

The rear tires of the pick-up truck (Ford F-450 bearing cement- that’s the punchline of this story) had crossed my torso and crushed it. Pretty much every rib broke, multiple times, puncturing both lungs. I should have died. Without a helmet I would have already been dead. There’s more to my injuries but the story telling machine is running out of steam.

“But what about your honey?” You may be asking. He came to visit me twice in the hospital. He met my parents while there. Then I broke up with him, because I couldn’t continue. I was hospitalized for just under a month, then I moved in with my mom so she could care for me. I spent a year of my life on a painkiller cocktail which left me numbed to pain and other feelings. My honey hung in there though, texting me (not too much, not too little) until finally we returned to slowly dating. It wasn’t until December that we became serious again.

So that’s it. The big week that changed my life in many ways. I’ve forgotten so much of it because the memories didn’t have time to form. I can piece together bits thanks to emails, pictures, my honey’s memory. But there are parts that are completely gone, blank hours. And things I’ve discovered that I misremembered. In the litigation I saw a picture of the truck, I learned the make and brand but it looked completely different from my memory of it.

Oh wait here is the actual punchline, you know why the driver made an illegal right hand turn and sped off after running me over? He had to go to the bathroom and hadn’t realized he’d struck a person on a bicycle. There are only two lessons here: drive safely and wear a helmet.

Today’s bangles: the trio I wore on the day of my accident, tortoise shell bangle from Goodwill, lucky figa charm bracelet.

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