1.14.15 boobs

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Thanks to Gawker.com I’ve looked at two sets of boobs today; Miley Cyrus and some German lady with crazy big bosoms. I don’t know about you other ladies out there who don’t often see boobs but for your own, but I’m always struck by how weird looking boobs are. Granted Miley Cyrus and this German lady are polar sides of the spectrum but both their boobs look so strange. And that Kim Kardashian photo shoot from last year? Her boobs looked weird too. I guess the entire point of my post today is that boobs are weird. How’s that for a thesis statement?

Have you seen any weird boobs today?

Today’s bangles: tortoise shell Goodwill find, Hermès Calèche, Swarovski Goodwill find, red Indian style Goodwill find, and all my lucky little figas charm bracelet.

12.15.14 coloring

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So today my mom was all “Enough with your seaweed hair!” And took me to get my hair done. It’s so lovely now, straight and clean. Wow! Who is this person? I asked my reflection. I last cut my hair maybe a year ago :/ I’m not the best at this whole adult-personal-maintenance deal.

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All the pretty combs in a row.

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Me and my fresh hair and a dog butt. Stinky stinky dog butt in my face. I feel so loved.

Today’s bracelets: Hermès Calèche red and green, my mom’s Route de Corse, my figa charm bracelet, and Claudia’s ID bracelet.

11.22.14 peevish

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Today I received a comment on one of my blog posts, a post that I’m particularly proud of because its subject is bleak and personal but I worked very hard to balance the dark hurt aspects with humor and light. Because everything has a humorous side. Don’t get me going on colon cancer. It’s a fucking laugh riot. See? That was funny because colon cancer is NOT a laugh riot, the punchline subverts my entire thesis statement. Humor, right? Hahaha. I’m fucked up, ok?

Anyway, the post I’m talking about is Ghost Dad LOL. I’ve really appreciated the various comments I have received on it. Up until today. Because today’s commenter, not someone with a WP blog, said “love stream of consciousness writing…no going back, editing”… WTF DUDE! Do you not realize HOW MUCH going back and editing I do on each and every post? Sure, sometimes grammar errors slip thru, sometimes that grammar error is intentional, sometimes I misspell something and don’t catch it but NEVER NOT EVER have I posted a stream of consciousness post. Maybe in a comment once or twice. Sort of?

I completely acknowledge that I am twisting my own panties in a bunch with very little cause. Fine, the commenter attempted a compliment. Maybe he doesn’t know what stream of consciousness is?

If that’s the case, here’s stream of consciousness:
Typing odn an ipad sucks and my fingers move too slow. I hate this song right now, shoudlnt have eaten that whole oanini. Greta more typos. Fat fingers. Cokd table. wtf.

👆That’s a pretty garbage blog post, right? Say what you like about my writing, but don’t ever say that I don’t go back and edit. That is the realm where I am KING.

Today’s bangles are: flacons de parfum, rouge Calèche, silver Taxco bangle, skinny silver Tiffany’s bangle, and wide Tiffany’s bangle from Christmas 1994.

Now ask me my opinion on starting a blog post with “I”; this rant train is the express and we are making no stops today.

11.7.14 yelp and the anonymous reviewer

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As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts ahem, Full Dinosaur Disclosure I own a shop. One of the evils of being in a customer service business is Yelp. Most of the time I’m completely tickled by my reviews. Actually, most of the time it takes me three months to notice a review, and then I’m tickled. Every once in a while there’s somebody who’s annoyed with how I’ve handled a situation, and the lesson there is that you can’t make everyone happy. Hello? I’m not Nordstrom’s, I just cannot accept a return of a pair of PJs that has been washed, worn, and the size tags removed just because your grandchild no longer fits them. Regardless of rightness or wrongness I feel bad about this kind of Yelp review. But I brush it off. Yelp happens. I doubt it even effects my business.

I sometimes use Yelp myself. To get a phone number or to see the reviews of a new restaurant. I prefer to read the bad reviews to see if the complaints are legitimate (food poisoning) or not (bad date, location is happenstance). But again, this is rare, since I’m a creature of habit and usually frequent the same five restaurants.

What bums me out about Yelp is this Hutten Jewelers page. I’ve mentioned Hutten Jewelers before. They are the most amazing jewelers for so many reasons. Izabella, the owner, is a 60 year old Brigitte Bardot type lady with a heavy Polish accent. Not like the current Brigitte Bardot, mind you, but if Brigitte Bardot had aged the way we all expected her to. This is a picture of her below, usually she’s got this giant contraption strapped to her head that magnifies the gem stones she’s working on.

Izabella

Izabella’s customer service is amazing. My husband shopped around for a jeweler when he was preparing to pop the question. He had some vintage diamonds and needed a jeweler to set them. Most jewelry stores charge a “corkage” fee for supplying your own diamonds. Not Izabella. But the greatness of Izabella is more then this. We bring everything to her: engraving needs, mending, designing, appraising. The other day I dropped in with one of my Goodwill finds to ask her what kind of material it was. (Agate, it’s an agate bangle. I am such a pest.)

Hutten Jewelers

Her fees? So reasonable. Plus, as repeat customers she always knocks the price down for us to be even lower than reasonable. She nurtures our relationship. She can never retire, we need her too much!

But so what breaks my heart about Yelp is when Izabella, who is excellent at her job, but who does not use the internet, or really understand that a Yelp review is not such a big deal, when she gets herself all worked up over a bad review that is completely meritless in its criticisms. And she has no recourse to dealing with it. There’s no check and balance system in place where Yelp confirms “Yes, this is a legitimate complaint” or “No, this is a person who demanded the name of Izabella’s landlord and when Izabella did not feel comfortable providing this kind of info to a stranger on the sidewalk, they wrote her a terrible Yelp review.” She cares about what you think about her and her business when you read that review. She has three reviews. She really needs a freaking website already, but that’s a different pig to fry.

So I say fuck it! Fuck Yelp for making people feel bad about doing their jobs. Fuck the power of this anonymous stranger. You got a problem with a business, address them directly. Cut out this awful Yelp middle man. Yelp has far too much power for its own good. If you can’t cut out the Yelp? Then your complaint is probably ridiculous to begin with.

Today’s bangles are the North African hinge bangle, horn skinny bangles, Hermes Caleche in puke green (Just kidding! I think it’s Chartreuse), brass Goodwill feather which may or may not end up in my online shop, and four skinny brass bangles. I’m loving those guys this week, huh?

10.29.14 no coconuts

IMG_2919.JPG One of the interesting things about long term relationships is you continue learn about your partner, and yourself thru them.

For example, my husband and I were driving to the supermarket the other day and I brought up the saying “first is the worst, second is the best, third is the blue bird sitting in the nest” (alternate ending is “third is the man with the hairy hairy chest”)… He had never heard this before! Granted, he grew up all over the place but not here, where I did. So I figure this must be a regional saying.

I know for a fact Ro Sham Bo is SF regional, but that’s a game not a saying. Rock, paper, scissors is what everybody else calls it.

But then I wondered about other kid rhymes. “No cuts, no butts, no coconuts”? Nope. I asked what he said to the kids who cut in line, and he didn’t offer much by way of explanation.

I didn’t even bother with the girl oriented ones like “Cinderella, dressed in yella, went downstairs to kiss her fella, by mistake she kissed a snake, how many doctors did it take?” I can pretty much guarantee my honey did not double dutch.

Just now I thought of “trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat”, he’s got to know that one, right? I’m texting him STAT.

BREAKING UPDATE: he knows the trick or treat one!

Today’s bangles are my Elsa Peretti X, a skinny white Calèche, a skinny pink Calèche, and the skinny white Grand Apparat.

What did you say as a kid? Do you recognize any of mine?

10.24.14 saddest lil pumpkin ever

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IMG_2894.JPG Isn’t this just dinky, and sad, and adorable, and pathetic, and cute? I love the Halloween décor that I encounter on my walk to work. But especially this one! It’s like somebody received a fragment of the Halloween memo. Yes, this tiny pumpkin is all by itself and decorated with stickers. Stickers! But still it sits proudly on the front stoop. Step to the beat of a different drum, tiny pumpkin!

Today on my wrist I’m wearing an orange Hermès Calèche, three turquoise and silver cuffs- the biggest one is from Taxco the others are Native American, and an orange Clic-Clac.

10.7.14 acid flash

IMG_2725.JPG Do these colors go together or is this too migraine inducing? I kind of like the combo. But after the busy weekend I’ve had, my instincts may be off. And guess what? I lost another Fantasy Football game which puts me at 0-5. Ugh, I thought this was supposed to be fun?

I’m wearing Calèche rouge, Spirographie, Clic Clac à Pois, and Calèche acid green but I think they call it chartreuse.

9.24.14 downloaded

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Ugh, twelve hundred hours later I finally successfully updated my iPad. Why? Wai? Today’s bangles: green Calèche, silver bangle from 1993, the final birthday gift from my dad Grand Apparat (I learned on Monday this is the very first Hermès pattern which has a nice symmetry to being my final gift), and Balcons de Guadalquivir.

9.23.14 blogspiration

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It’s fall now, right?! I just read such a good mood setting Apple Cider recipe on Heather Bergdahl’s Blog that gave me license to wear my favorite dress. It’s a jack o lantern by I’m Your Present on Etsy. To tell the truth, I wear this even without fall license. For example, on my birthday this year. Which is in April. And I’m probably too old for this but I don’t care!

For my bracelets I have on my two orange Clic Clacs and a wide orange Calèche.