Agents, Guns, and Diane von Furstenberg

Pre-owned Diamond Yellow Gold Gamblers Dice Bracelet


The other day Old Road Apples said such a flattering thing about my blog:

It’s interesting…I don’t wear jewelry, don’t shop for jewelry, but still find myself needing to “like” things on your page.

It’s so flattering because that perfectly sums up my goals with my writing. Sure, I write about jewelry, but I use it as a device to write about more in life; my stories, things that impress me, just regular human experiences that are bigger than gender and the writing device itself. I am proud that I have a number of male and female readers who are not jewelry aficionados and that my blog isn’t a specifically ‘No Boys Allowed!’ kind of club.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Roll The Dice Earring


As I mentioned in this post about hope, there is a trifecta of stars in my life that I am hoping will align right now. We can check off successful IVF, which leaves two: a big deal art fair that I applied to, and finding an agent for my novel. I spent yesterday emailing agents and two requested writing samples. HOORAY! Right? So I posted an update about it on facebook.

Now my novel, like my blog, is something that I hope transcends gendered interest. I wish it would fall into the noir, mystery, or suspense genres but since I am female, and the protagonist is female, we decided to call it ‘chicklit noir’ because the aim is to sell this thing, afterall. I’ll make a big fuss about this whole silly ‘chicklit’ notion later when I’m established.

Pre-owned Rolex Stainless Steel Air-King Wristwatch with Domino's Pizza Dial circa 2004


Wait, no, I’ll make a fuss now. You know how many times Lee Childs goes into detail about Jack Reacher’s weaponry? A shit ton. Do I care about his weaponry specifics? Not a fig, but I still read every damn Jack Reacher book. Now, my casino story I describe some outfits my character wears. Will everyone care? No, but fuck that. I read about Jack Reacher’s weapons, my reader can fucking tolerate some wardrobe changes. And so what my protagonist develops a love interest in the story, so does Jack Reacher (in every single Reacher story) but we’re not lumping him into ‘chicklit’.

Back on topic, I had two agents bite on my query emails. Lots of fb friends very nicely ‘liked’ my update and posted encouraging comments. It was super heartwarming. But then of course this rage inducing exchange (see below) goes down in private message.

IMG_3580
Are you fucking kidding me dude? “sexy outfits”?!?! This is so INAPPROPRIATE on SOOO MANY LEVELS.

First of all- Don’t “sexy” pm me ANYTHING EVER for so many reasons but especially since I am married. Pro-tip, don’t send unsolicited “sexy” pms to ANY woman EVER.
Second- I obviously already expressed my concern at being gender typecast and FIRST QUESTION about my novel is the fucking sexiness of the clothes?!?
Third- Even without the prior concerns expressed, are you fucking kidding me with this question? There is no point at which this question would be appropriate. *Maybe* if I was like “I’m writing a novel all about sexy outfits” *maybe* then it’d be passably acceptable. But it’s not. It’s about a woman who works in a casino. So ask me a fucking casino related question, I know my gambling shit.
Fourth- “Chicklit” pretty much guarantees no descriptions of “sexy” outfits. “Chicklit” is not “erotic fiction”.

Anyway. I showed my husband the exchange. He said “what a creep.” Which is exactly correct, this is an excellent illustration of creepiness. And this guy can’t figure out why he can’t find a girlfriend. ANYWAY. I’m done bitching.

How are you guys doing? Did you pop over to Old Road Apples blog yet? I love the found photos. Especially now, it makes me so thankful for our lack of snow in SF.

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Gamble Gamble

#9 VERY GIFTED: GIFT IDEAS

Gift ideas for the Gambler:
*Roulette
*Craps
*Poker

Damas y Cabelleros, you want to play a game? Invite me; I know all the games. Except bridge, that is. But so I have a special affinity in my heart for the gamblers of the world.
Rouge et Noir
What do you give the gambler besides your lucky rabbit’s foot? How about something from their game of choice? Robert Tateossian makes these beautiful roulette wheel cufflinks. But you might want to include a copy of The Gambler as a cautionary tale.
the gambler

Afterall, Dostoyevsky was a fan of the Rouge et Noir and look where he wound up. Siberia. He wound up in Siberia. (I should note, gambling addiction did not send Dostoyevsky to the gulag and he was later released). BUT STILL. GAMBLING —> GULAG. That’s it for my public service messages. Gambling! It can be fun, too!!

lucky dice
If your luck be a lady who loves craps these are the ticket. Plus, they are not real gold! So less likely that your lucky lady will hock them later for gambling dough. She’ll treasure these earrings forever. Or she may throw them in the gutter and curse your name. Whatever! Kate Spade dice earrings will be a hit. Either figuratively or literally.

cards ring
But say your honey is more a card shark and less a dice, umm, donkey (?)… I recommend this Royal Straight ring at Ruby Lane mistakenly identified as a lucky flush. Who are these amateurs? That’s a straight. Flush is all the same suit. Duh almighty. This ring is size 10.5, which fits either a guy or a very large handed lady. You know what they say about the ladies with the large hands, don’t you? I don’t either. Oh well. But rings are easy to resize, that is my point.

So, are you feeling lucky punk? Or inspired? Are you feeling gift giving inspired, punk? Well are ya?

The daily disclaimer: I would be remiss if I didn’t offer the link to my online store… I write these posts for my love of jewelry and gift giving, there’s no sponsors here but ME for MYSELF 😀

Nano Wrimothoasitheslnt

That’s how you spell it, right?

It took me a very long time to figure out what that acronym meant. I’m significantly better with anagrams than acronyms. Not kidding. Like the WR in football, I keep wanting to call it a Right Wing. Since I know that’s wrong I continue to call those guys the WR, to my husband’s huge annoyance. He has definitely explained it to me many times but it just doesn’t stick. However, give me the daily jumble and I can see the words. They just manifest themselves to me without any effort. It’s probably thanks in part to special skills I learned a while ago at a very unique job. A job that was the inspiration for a story.

That job was working in a casino.

Nope. No Mahjong here, buster.

I was a supervisor, basically my company’s equivalent of a PitBoss. Anyway, that was a lifetime ago. Then I was run over by a truck, and invalided at my mom’s house. As a needing-to-do-something-creative-at-all-times kind of person, writing was the logical course of action. Frankly, I couldn’t do anything else. I wasn’t physically capable of it. I was in a lot of pain and needing to process what I had experienced.

No dice either.

I should probably clarify that I had recently started a new very regular type job at the time I was run over. But obviously, some of the stress reverberations from my time at the casino still needed working on, too. So it all came out. Almost dying gave me a goal. I want to publish a book.

I do need dis!!

The story transitioned from a diary of pain, to a fictionalized account of my life, to a totally fictional thriller type story set in a casino and one of the side characters gets hit by a bus. Reading those first drafts is painful. Literally full of pain, and it hurts to read. But it’s come a long way. I have an editor who has helped improve my writing by leaps and bounds. Now, like everybody else hoping to get the door slammed in their face, I’m preparing to start soliciting agents.

Which brings me to Woo Irn Man… errr Nano Wrimo

I think I want to participate. But writing this blog distracts me so much (in a good way). This blog gives me a purpose in a way that I really need right now while I’m dealing with the bad shit in my life. Do people do both? Maintain their blogs and write a story? Have you done it before, are you doing it now? Give me insight please!

Note about the bracelets: today the pictures link to their websites if you are interested in them. A quick note, neither Mah Jong nor dice games were offered at my casino, but I can’t find any Pai Gow jewelry to showcase.