If I were a graduate student studying modern American television (people totally do that, right? TV Studies? No?) I’d write my thesis on the Gilmore Girls. Specifically the dynamic between Lorelei Gilmore and Rory Gilmore. The title would be Lorelei & Rory: the role of the dominant and the submissive in family dynamics. And then I’d write about that. But since this is a blog, I get to cheat and invent imaginary thesis titles without actually needing to do any leg work.

Ugh! I can’t even explain the insidious addiction of this show. I never watched it first time around. Then when it became available on Netflix streaming I figured I ought to give it a shot because people I respect love it. It turns out it’s awful. But I can’t stop watching!

I hate Lorelei. She’s so smug and self absorbed. Basically selfishly forcing her daughter to be her best friend. I just can’t get behind this whole mom + daughter = best friend thing. It’s weird! Yo. I talk to my mom every day, I see her in person multiple times per week. I have a great relationship with my mom. But she’s my mom, not my best friend. Side note, I also find it creepy when spouses call each other “best friends”. Anyway, Lorelei is so intent on being “cool” and quasi witty that she’s awful and obnoxious to her entire community. Including her own parents! Come on already, grow up, Lorelei!

Oh, and the theme song? It’s the worst. THE WORST. For all the effort the show goes to name dropping bands (Belle & Sebastian, Metallica, I heard some Rammstein, Otis Redding) you’d think they would have a decent theme song. But no. It’s the worst. If you’re curious what song it is it’s Where You Lead by Carole King. Listen, I may be down with Linda Ronstadt but no thank you, Carole King. You can take what you are selling elsewhere.

Oh, hello broken English Korean mom. What are you doing here? Why? Why must Mrs. Kim speak broken English? Her grammar is nearly impeccable but the writer’s love dropping the verb every once in a while. It’s so inconsistent! ESL people tend to be consistent in the idiosyncrasies of their speech. The Vietnamese family down the street sell “gingersnappers” at their sandwich shop. Which I think is ridiculously cute, BUT it’s always gingersnappers. Well, except when it’s chocolate chip cookie day. Then there’s no gingersnappers. Consistency.

Besides, I can hear Mrs. Kim’s American accent behind the awful fake Korean accent. Why must they do this? There are so few Asians on TV to begin with, must the token ones be such a stereotype? I’m looking at you Two Broke Girls. You’re part of the problem, too.

So there’s a lot, A LOT that I dislike about this show and yet…. I can’t stop watching it. Where you lead, I will follow, apparently. Like a lobotomized rat, I hate the maze but I can’t escape it. Poor rat 😦

It’s Rory. She is the cheese that makes the maze worth while. But now she’s getting all mixed up with this bad kid, Jess. I’m worried she’s going to cheat on Dean. Stupid Lorelei almost had a decent moment of parenting, nearly pointing out this kid Jess’s many flaws, but then she blew it. As usual. So right now I’m just so concerned for Rory and her future. Oh, yeah, I like Paris, Kirk and Suki too. It’s these characters that outweigh the general awfulness of the show.

Now hush, Jess is cleaning the gutters and I know he has that bracelet of Rory’s. I just hope she figures out he is terrible before she jeopardizes her relationship.

Today’s bracelets are assymetrical brass Goodwill find now up at my shop, tiny HiHo Silver knot, cream Clic Clac, chain of silver hearts, and silver ID bracelet that read WWRS from Goodwill. I’m guessing that R is for Rita since she ‘loves ya’ on the flip side.