11.12.14 year of living undangerously

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If you could go back in time, live your life over knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Me, I have a laundry list of items.
-Don’t bother with that ‘My So Called Life’ letter writing campaign, Angela Chase is over.
-Love is easy. Worrying if you are phoning someone too much is a sign that they are the wrong person. The right person will welcome all your phone calls AND visit you in the hospital after knowing you for just seven days.
-Chewing on your lip repeatedly DOES cause wrinkles.
-January 22, 2007? Don’t ride the bike to work. Take the day off, why don’t you.
-Credit cards do NOT buy happiness, cut those puppies up.
-That time your flight lays over in Heathrow and you are the only one there who recognizes the RZA? Go say hi, tell him you’re a fan.
-That self destructive phase? Not worth it.

That last one there is something that I still struggle with. It’s easy when everything hurts to look for an outlet, a fight, drugs, sex, anything to make yourself feel better. It’s hard NOT to, even. But I’m too old for that. My hangover will be too brutal, the downs far outweigh the ups. But today hurts. I’m officially an IVF round two drop out. My body isn’t responding to the drugs. I’ve only got one little follicle to show for it. Not enough to proceed.

Today’s bangles: my dad’s Rolex, silver sea shell charm bracelet, polymer clay bracelets

Being Hit By A Truck vs. Infertility: which is the best?

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HIT BY A TRUCK   INFERTILITY
Pain YES X neglible
Heart ache neglible X YES
Cause Truck X Cause unknown
Weight change loss X gain
Ability to exercise not possible X not allowed
Time heals all wounds X is not a woman’s friend
Financial profit gain* X loss
Diagnosable psychological repercussions PTSD, panic disorder tie tie depression
Time off work many months paid leave X two days per IVF round unpaid leave
Frequency of strangers asking if you are pregnant daily by X-Ray techs but otherwise non occurring X Frequently because you are fat from hormones and lack of exercise
Ability of strangers asking if you are pregnant to make you cry Nope X Immense
Fun-ness of medications Very fun X No fun
Internet forums to discuss issues Maybe? Runoverbytruck.com? X Gobs
Risk of death High X No risk
Relatability of the situation Very, everybody has experienced pain and can imagine being hit by truck X Not very, except by others who have experienced it
Root of fear that being hit by a truck contributed to infertility Yes X No

Conclusion, being hit by a truck is better than infertility by a landslide! Lesson here, always choose being hit by a truck. Wholesale ducky hospital ID bracelets available at PDC Healthcare

*conditional upon fault of insured truck driver