MIA for all the right reasons

ileava Sleeping Moon Pendant


That’s what I’ve been! MIA for all the right reasons. Two pieces of big (good) news keep interfering with my WP time. First up- I was accepted as an artist for the Startup Art Fair in San Francisco. (May 1-3 at the Hotel del Sol in San Francheesie) which is SOOOO exciting. It’s basically the most legit art show I’ve participated in to date. Click on the artists link, find my name, ahem, Margaret Timbrell… that’s me!!! But now I need to make more new work. My artwork for this show is almost entirely needlepoints so I must stitch from sun down to sun up, until my fingers turn into canvas and needle and I start dreaming about stitching. It happens. Trust me. But so, stitching and blogging are some serious conflicts.

The other big blogging conflict? Pregnancy with TWINS!! I am carrying two guppies right now. My honey and I are over the moon!! But so my main activity besides stitching? SLEEPING. Here’s my schedule: wake up at 6:30 AM. Take a nap from 9-10 AM. Walk to work. Curl up in my little nest on the floor of the storage room and nap for about an hour midday. Walk home. Go to bed at 7:30 PM. Somehow squeeze in enough stitching to make a decent show of this art fair.

Stitching and sleeping. Stitching and sleeping. What are you guys doing? Writing? How productive of you. I find writing seriously cuts into my *yawn* … yah, so…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*faceplant into the desk*

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Honey

Pre-owned Alexander McQueen Skull and Bee Ring


You have maybe noticed that I refer to my honey as “Honey”. I call him “Honey” and he calls me “Honey”. And when I refer to myself to him in the third person I call myself “your honey” as in “Your honey wants you to take the dogs out.” It’s a lot of honey. I also refer to other people’s honeys as their honeys. I don’t know how or where any of this came from. I have no explanation for all this honey business.

But so what I’m wondering today is this: if my honey and I wind up also calling my womb tenants “honey” how are we ever going to know who we are talking about?

Side side side note: I just looked at my post stats page and did you all know we can look at our blog stats going back to 1970!!!!!??! WHAT THE EFF?

Night Sloth

Cast of Vices Handcuff Rhodium Bracelet


This morning I am catching up on all my shows. The Walking Dead, How to Get Away with Murder (thus the handcuffs theme- NATE WHAT?!?), and what else??? We’ll see. The reason I’m missing my shows? They all come on after 8pm and I am now a robot who powers off at 8pm sharp so as to clock in a solid 8 to 12 hours of sleep. I am a sleep robot!!! Or as Susan Elizabeth and I established, I am the opposite of a Night Owl. A Night Sloth.

BERRICLE BERRICLE 925 Sterling Silver Cubic Zirconia CZ Handcuffs Women Fashion Chain Bracelet

Next I will catch up on all my blog reading.

But what shows did I miss while Rip Van Winkling my days away? Any good episodes??? What did you love this week?

Agents, Guns, and Diane von Furstenberg

Pre-owned Diamond Yellow Gold Gamblers Dice Bracelet


The other day Old Road Apples said such a flattering thing about my blog:

It’s interesting…I don’t wear jewelry, don’t shop for jewelry, but still find myself needing to “like” things on your page.

It’s so flattering because that perfectly sums up my goals with my writing. Sure, I write about jewelry, but I use it as a device to write about more in life; my stories, things that impress me, just regular human experiences that are bigger than gender and the writing device itself. I am proud that I have a number of male and female readers who are not jewelry aficionados and that my blog isn’t a specifically ‘No Boys Allowed!’ kind of club.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Roll The Dice Earring


As I mentioned in this post about hope, there is a trifecta of stars in my life that I am hoping will align right now. We can check off successful IVF, which leaves two: a big deal art fair that I applied to, and finding an agent for my novel. I spent yesterday emailing agents and two requested writing samples. HOORAY! Right? So I posted an update about it on facebook.

Now my novel, like my blog, is something that I hope transcends gendered interest. I wish it would fall into the noir, mystery, or suspense genres but since I am female, and the protagonist is female, we decided to call it ‘chicklit noir’ because the aim is to sell this thing, afterall. I’ll make a big fuss about this whole silly ‘chicklit’ notion later when I’m established.

Pre-owned Rolex Stainless Steel Air-King Wristwatch with Domino's Pizza Dial circa 2004


Wait, no, I’ll make a fuss now. You know how many times Lee Childs goes into detail about Jack Reacher’s weaponry? A shit ton. Do I care about his weaponry specifics? Not a fig, but I still read every damn Jack Reacher book. Now, my casino story I describe some outfits my character wears. Will everyone care? No, but fuck that. I read about Jack Reacher’s weapons, my reader can fucking tolerate some wardrobe changes. And so what my protagonist develops a love interest in the story, so does Jack Reacher (in every single Reacher story) but we’re not lumping him into ‘chicklit’.

Back on topic, I had two agents bite on my query emails. Lots of fb friends very nicely ‘liked’ my update and posted encouraging comments. It was super heartwarming. But then of course this rage inducing exchange (see below) goes down in private message.

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Are you fucking kidding me dude? “sexy outfits”?!?! This is so INAPPROPRIATE on SOOO MANY LEVELS.

First of all- Don’t “sexy” pm me ANYTHING EVER for so many reasons but especially since I am married. Pro-tip, don’t send unsolicited “sexy” pms to ANY woman EVER.
Second- I obviously already expressed my concern at being gender typecast and FIRST QUESTION about my novel is the fucking sexiness of the clothes?!?
Third- Even without the prior concerns expressed, are you fucking kidding me with this question? There is no point at which this question would be appropriate. *Maybe* if I was like “I’m writing a novel all about sexy outfits” *maybe* then it’d be passably acceptable. But it’s not. It’s about a woman who works in a casino. So ask me a fucking casino related question, I know my gambling shit.
Fourth- “Chicklit” pretty much guarantees no descriptions of “sexy” outfits. “Chicklit” is not “erotic fiction”.

Anyway. I showed my husband the exchange. He said “what a creep.” Which is exactly correct, this is an excellent illustration of creepiness. And this guy can’t figure out why he can’t find a girlfriend. ANYWAY. I’m done bitching.

How are you guys doing? Did you pop over to Old Road Apples blog yet? I love the found photos. Especially now, it makes me so thankful for our lack of snow in SF.

Big News!!

Gold Wishbone Necklace


It’s been a very exciting couple of days. I was waiting to post about this because my mom made me paranoid. BUT. SO. I found a little clip iPod on the street. Yay!

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY I peed on a stick and a big + appeared!!! Technically first I had my blood drawn and a nurse phoned me to tell me the good news. Then I spent the morning sobbing with happiness. Then my honey ran out and bought a stick for me to pee on so we could have that experience. Then there was significantly more joy-crying. Oh my god, I’m crying again.

Altruette Lucky Charity Set


You don’t even know what this means to me. It’s been a really shitty year and a half where life reminded me over and over that everything can always get worse. “You thinks infertility sucks? And that your grandmother’s health scare was bad? Well let’s see how you handle your dad’s unexpected death, Margaret.”

Pre-owned Vintage Lucky Figa Sterling Bracelet


It really felt like I couldn’t have anything. I still can’t believe that this, the third and final IVF round, worked. Oh shit. I’m crying again. Fortunately I had for sight enough to confirm with my doctor that crying will not harm the fetus.

SHY by Sydney Evan Lucky Single-Diamond Script Necklace


I just feel so so so very lucky right now. This mini iPod is going to be so useful.

Tyrant Lizard King

Triceratops ring
This work stuff really gets in the way of nap time, chu-no-wat-I-mean? I’m super tired from these nightly progesterone shots in my flanks. It’s getting up to the BIG NEWS DAY for me so I’m working hard at distracting myself. I read every single post in my Reader today!! DAM. So many to recommend, but Rae of Sparkles specifically posted about two of my favorite things: Valentine’s Day and sandwiches. Nothing’s quite as comforting as favorite things, right? So this, my post, is about another of my favorite things.
T Rex necklace
Dinosaurs. I don’t know if you all are up to date on dinosaurs but shit is different from when we were kids. One of my favorite recent reads is My Beloved Brontosaurus by Brian Switek, a paleontologist who writes humorously and intelligently about dinos.
Parasaurolphus earrings
Dinosaurs are magnificent! I always feel so sad for Creationists. How empty the world must be for them to close their ideological doors to dinosaurs. But then I don’t feel too bad for them because that means more dinosaurs for me MWAHAHAHA.

Now excuse me as I read up on some back articles by Brian Switek on various megafauna. Oh, and did I mention he’s the dinosaur expert on the new Jurassic Park movie? How cool is that!

Triceratops ring by LAS Jewelry
T Rex necklace by Tatty Devine
Parasaurolphus earrings by Dinosaurs YEAH

Hope

diamond hope necklace by JR DUNN

There is so much to be hopeful for right now but I worry about hope. It ties into “my narrative of self” (as my therapist calls it) where I feel as though I am not a particularly lucky person. Hello, run over by a truck here! So hope feels like a dangerous thing that is bound to hurt me.

I had my IVF transfer yesterday. Three embryos! With decent ratings. I’m so hopeful, so so hopeful. But this is final round three, and I don’t know if hope is even warranted. 👇 me and my honey all suited up.

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Then there’s the art fair that I applied to. It’s very prestigious called the stARTup Art Fair, and open only to artists who aren’t currently represented by any galleries. Since I handle my own sales, I qualify! I submitted early. I’m proud of the work, I sort of have an “in” with one of the judges, I want this and it would be a big thing for me. I’m hopeful. 👇 a piece I submitted

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Finally. Finally, (I’m shaking now from writing the scariest most precious things down for you all to read) I’ve been working on a story for 8 years now. It started out as a journal of my pain from my accident and along the way it morphed into a novel about a girl who works in a casino. My editor calls it “chicklit noir” and my other editor, Laurel from Dear Writers scrubbed out all my silly nonsense, tightened it up, and perfected it for me. Now, my first editor, Jay, says we’ll start approaching agents. I feel really good about my story, it’s something different and interesting. But again… too much hope.

So I’m sitting here completely terrified. TERRIFIED. Hope has never treated me kindly before, I don’t know why it would treat me well now. All I can do is bide my time and wait to be punched in the face one way or another. Or all three ways! But still I hope maybe for once everything will go my way.

Hope Necklace byJR Dunn

Stoned 1.26.15

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Today was the day where the doctors visited the hen house and harvested all the eggs. Six! Which is big for me and I was expecting just four. Needless to say I spent today knocked out, ate a burrito, napped, folded laundry, now we’re watching TV with the dogs. My honey told me I was talking to the anesthesiologists about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Robin! This is your fault!) then sang along to Blank Space (and Dora! That’s on you). It must be great to be an anesthesiologist.

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Test tube necklace by BeautyIsEloquent on Etsy

Everybody’s a (terrible) Comedian

For some reason going to my IVF appointments brings out my inner comedian. I suppose “for some reason” actually should read “because humor is my defense mechanism” but so at today’s appointment I was killing it.
fertility frog
First there was the blood draw where I asked the nurse if I should remove my clothes. Then I added “I know not all my clothes, I learned that the hard way.” You see because they just need you to take off your jacket and I was implying I had fully disrobed at some previous blood draw.
Venus of Willendorf charm
Then during the follicle count process (which is the MOST awkward moment in the exam) I checked with the doctor if I could still go running. Then I asked if I could still be drinking wine. And then (ready those snare drums) I asked if it was okay to do both at the same time.
rabbit charm
Needless to say at NO point was anyone but myself amused. Such a bummer. That’s why I feel obliged to share with you all, my more or less captive audience, and the Pirate King. Because I thought that was some quality A grade humor. And I have 4 follicles. Which is 3 more than the “you are fired from IVF” round so that’s not awful news.

Fertility Charms:
Frog available at Across the Pond
Venus of Willendorf available at Charms4U on Etsy
Rabbit available at The Caring Society

Boobs On The Brain

Don’t think I didn’t notice that you all clicked on my other boobs post. What, were you too shy to comment? Don’t you worry though, because I’ve got boobs on the brain. Probably because I’m trying to buy a new bra. Trying being the operative word here.

You lady readers know what I’m talking about. You fellas? Well, trying to buy a new bra is similar to buying new socks in levels of tediousness. That is, if socks cost $72, each one fit differently, sizing was inconsistent, and sometimes, even after you think you’ve found the ideal comfortable sock, even then it doesn’t work under a t-shirt. Now, I don’t know what you are doing putting your t-shirts over your socks. That’s your business.

But so, I’ve now purchased (and returned) six bras in an effort to find one god damn bra. It doesn’t help matters that I’m currently injecting my body full of hormones. As anybody transitioning to female (or my fellow IVFers) can attest these hormones throw your top dimensions all out of whack. The situation has gotten to the point where my MOM commented on my boobs. I think that right there should remain exclusively an initial rite of womanhood, not to be repeated when 35. It usually happens when you are in your tweens/teens. Your mom or grandma or Auntie or mom’s best friend takes you aside and says “You need a good bra.”

“Welcome to womanhood, first lesson: everyone is now entitled to express their opinions about your body. Second lesson: you need a good bra.”

So far this is the only bra that I’ve found and liked:
Totally A Bra
What? You got something to say about my shopping technique? But you won’t, will you? Because this post is about boobs and bras, and everybody looks at these posts but few are comfortable commenting.