You have maybe noticed that I refer to my honey as “Honey”. I call him “Honey” and he calls me “Honey”. And when I refer to myself to him in the third person I call myself “your honey” as in “Your honey wants you to take the dogs out.” It’s a lot of honey. I also refer to other people’s honeys as their honeys. I don’t know how or where any of this came from. I have no explanation for all this honey business.
But so what I’m wondering today is this: if my honey and I wind up also calling my womb tenants “honey” how are we ever going to know who we are talking about?
Side side side note: I just looked at my post stats page and did you all know we can look at our blog stats going back to 1970!!!!!??! WHAT THE EFF?
You see it was an amethyst stone. Found fallen from a bangle chain.
It must’be been, lying there on the street. When I picked it up as you do, it had small writing on it. I showed it to the seller at the packed flower stall nearby. She took one look at it and said ‘the writing’s too small’ . I asked did she have a magnifying glass.
“no.. It’s the kind of stone that you have to give, it has a message on it, but it cannot be read unless it connects to the heart of the one it is given to.” She said.
” How do you know that ? ” I asked.
“I know that because I had one once. Just like that only bigger. A young man turned up one day and gave it me just on the street nearby. I had…
With the approach of Valentine’s Day Kay Jewelers is going all out with their commercial push. Now, I have kind of a love/hate/love relationship with America’s favorite jewelers. Chocolate diamonds? Please (insert major eye roll). If you give me anything chocolate ever I better be able to eat that isht. No joke. Give me a chocolate diamond I will insist upon eating it. On the other hand… SPARKLY. Lots and lots of sparkly.
Whenever a commercial begins with a kiss that begins with Kay, first I say to my honey “Don’t ever buy me anything from Kay!” Then I say “Wouldn’t it be funny if you bought me something from Kay?” Final stage is blogging about Kay. So. There’s that.
What I’m trying to say is I took a look at Kay. Again.
And Kay did not disappoint. Because this is some weird stuff. Heartbeat monitor necklace? Like what? Everyday I’m so thankful for your pulse! <— that's what the card should read.
And if that above is the heartbeat necklace, what’s this one? HUH KAY??!!
A flatline necklace, Kay? To send to your enemy. Everyday I’m so thankful you have no pulse. <—– what this card reads.
Or maybe vampire lover? I don't know. This is all on Kay Jewelers and frankly? I would appreciate an explanation.
This is the week, folks. The week of important anniversaries that changed my life. Today is the day that eight years ago I… Well… Let me set the scene.
It was a Monday evening. I was working in downtown San Francisco. This was life before my darling little shop back when I was a small fry in a huge international corporation. My job was shaking hands with clients and showing them how to use a computer program (ha! Right? Like I knew how to use a computer program!!!) So really I spent most of my day going to appointments while pretending either to look busy or to know what the hell I was saying.
To relieve all this make believe I went out. A lot. Even on Monday nights. I know my mom is shaking her head right now going “but it was a school night!” It was a school night! Can you believe it? Not literally, because I wasn’t in school. Though it was still literally a school night. Blah, whatever! It was a school night, just not for me. There.
Anyway, back to setting my scene. It was a Monday, afterwork. I probably had changed my outfit. Which is not an important detail but to get the writing juices going I had to let you know. An acquaintance and I hit up some bar on Pine Street, though I had a headache so I briefly considered going home. However, she urged me to tag along with her to meet her friends at another bar, the Cellar. It was a karaoke night! “Margaret does not karaoke,” I’m certain I told her. But I was young, 27! And went anyway. Hangover on Tuesday be damned.
Once there we scooched into a sparkly vinyl booth. I leaned over the table and asked her “Are there going to be any cute single guys?” And she said yes. And guess what? There was! For narrative sake I’ll say he walked in right then. He carried a motorcycle helmet under one arm, wore this big hulking bomber jacket and glasses. Which, as we all know, is the recipe for female catnip. When I found out he was going to sing a song I told him “Margaret does not karaoke but she does dance”, and volunteered to be his back up dancer.
And guess what? That guy is my honey! Cruel man that he is he made me back up dance to the Cranberries “Ode to my Family” (you know how hard it is to dance to that song?!). So today is the 8 year anniversary of that, my first major life change: I now karaoke.
But more importantly it’s the anniversary of the day that I met my honey. I just now went into the bedroom and kissed him and said “I’ve known you for 8 years, honey!”
Picture of us (me dancing or, rather, posing for the camera, and him singing the Cranberries) from that very first night. This picture, my friends? It is a bona fide film photo. As in not digital. Woh! Blows your mind, right? And I still have this dress though Bandit ate the boots at some point. Anyway, Aaron and I were pretty hot and heavy right out of the gates; a date almost every night of the week! And I’m going to tell you all about them! Because they were full of firsts.
To be cont…
1.15.2007 bangles: my blue Hermès Cape Cod watch, and skinny Orange Clic-Clac
Today’s jewelry are all the ones from my honey:
Hermès Collier de Chien from this Christmas, Hermès Astrologie from last Christmas, Tiffany’s pearl bracelet from my 30th birthday, Jawbone UP from last birthday (35), rose gold wedding band, engagement ring, rose gold Tiffany earrings from a birthday (33?), and pink pearl necklace he won at an auction. Last is our anniversary ring with Leroy’s head, my honey adds a stone at each anniversary. The colors are for the married years.
I just realized maybe I’ve never before revealed my husband’s name. It’s Aaron, but I’ll probably continue to call him honey. Because that is how I do it!
Uhoh. Have I mentioned before how we have too many remote controls? Well, we do. And I did something wonky just now when trying to watch Brooklyn 99 on demand and now the TV is blank. 😮 All this would be fine if I only had someone else to blame for the mishap. As it stands, my honey is due home any minute and guess what he’ll first notice? Oops.
He’s got his skill set (remotes) and I’ve got mine. Mine is polishing up jewelry with just lemon and hot sauce! See that shine-y brass and copper cuff bracelet in the above photo? Five minutes B.R.C. (before remote cock-up) it was black. Then I sliced the lemon for the brass, grabbed my Tabasco for the copper, and went to work. Two minutes B.R.C. I had a beautiful brand new looking cuff from my mom. Apparently some boy gave it to her when she was twelve. Love springs eternal! Let’s just cross our fingers that it endures the Great Remote Lecture of 2015.
If you could go back in time, live your life over knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
Me, I have a laundry list of items.
-Don’t bother with that ‘My So Called Life’ letter writing campaign, Angela Chase is over.
-Love is easy. Worrying if you are phoning someone too much is a sign that they are the wrong person. The right person will welcome all your phone calls AND visit you in the hospital after knowing you for just seven days.
-Chewing on your lip repeatedly DOES cause wrinkles.
-January 22, 2007? Don’t ride the bike to work. Take the day off, why don’t you.
-Credit cards do NOT buy happiness, cut those puppies up.
-That time your flight lays over in Heathrow and you are the only one there who recognizes the RZA? Go say hi, tell him you’re a fan.
-That self destructive phase? Not worth it.
That last one there is something that I still struggle with. It’s easy when everything hurts to look for an outlet, a fight, drugs, sex, anything to make yourself feel better. It’s hard NOT to, even. But I’m too old for that. My hangover will be too brutal, the downs far outweigh the ups. But today hurts. I’m officially an IVF round two drop out. My body isn’t responding to the drugs. I’ve only got one little follicle to show for it. Not enough to proceed.