Games people play

You know that game “If you could live in any era, when would it be?” It’s not nearly as fun as FMK. But so, it always amazes me when people pick these supposedly glamorous times that actually would have sucked to a. live in and to b. live in as a woman and/or a person of color.

The Victorian Age probably ranks up there as one of those overly romanticized and actually probably pretty awful periods that are often picked. People seem to forget that the Victorians went to the bathroom in bowls in their bedrooms. They kept that container under the bed. Then they discarded it’s contents OUT THE WINDOW! It was a FILTHY time!

But damn, they made some pretty jewelries. This one is available on the Past Era website and can be yours for $6950!

IMG_2882.JPG I met the people from Past Era at the SF Fall Antiques Show. They were so nice and gracious when I asked them about their bracelets and if I could take pictures for my blog. Here’s my shot, a pile o antique bracelets.

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I think they were maybe even a little impressed with my 42 blog followers. Do not dare to correct me! *sigh* I would probably be okay with suffering through a little consumption to get my hands on one of those darlings.

If you want to talk eras, let’s talk Scythian. Dude. NEVER pick Scythian when you are playing the era game because what if some weird wormhole magically develops and instantly transports you to your era of choice and you just fucking picked SCYTHIAN! Do you like war? And tribal living? Raising ox for slaughter and starving to death during times of famine? How do you feel about pillaging and rape? Well you will love the Scythians! I mean, even if you picked the Scythians because of their gold work, you can just buy their gold now for the reasonable sum of $35000 from Ollemans.

IMG_2875.JPG If you give me the option of Mongolia under the reign of Genghis Kahn or Sycthians, I would pick Genghis Khan because I 💗💗🐴.

I guess after those last two picks, roaring twenties (another popular choice) has some appeal. But we’re talking life pre-Penicillin, women and blacks were still considered the legal property of men, and the Great Depression was looming on the horizon. No thank you!

If I could go back in time, to any time, first I would choose the time of dinosaurs, but being the only human would probably get kind of lonely. Then I’d choose 2 years ago because life was pretty good two years ago, and it would give me the chance to do some major things differently.

Now, FMK? Lorelai Gillmore, Darryl from the Walking Dead, Carl from the Walking Dead? Trick question because there’s two kills in there.

Antiquated excuses

You know that moment when you’re looking at something and you think to yourself “this is fancy, it’s got to cost at least X amount of dollars.” Then you check out the price tag and your eyeballs pop out of your head as you shout “Gazoooooga!” Because this item is one hundred times more expensive then you imagined, you know that moment? Well I experienced that at least three times tonight at the SF Fall Antiques Show.

It got to the point where I found this bracelet below, the one that spells out I LOVE YOU at $3800 and I was all “Finally, a good deal!”

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This was at the Lawrence Jeffrey booth where I also found this item…

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Can you see that? Do you SEE THIS THING? Are you interested in wearing a beautifully crafted necklace of decapitated black folks’ heads? Would you enjoy a jewelry piece that touches on the open wound of our slavery history, Orientalism, and the objectification of humans? The details are exquisite, gold earrings, turquoise accents. Perfect for your beloved KLANSMAN SLASH SERIAL KILLER! It’s just $13,800. For the person who likes to spend a lot of money on showcasing their bigotry.

Before you start saying, oh this is an antique, this celebrates the Moors (it’s a “blackamoor” necklace), it was different times, people didn’t know, etc. b.s. etc., before that let me tell you it was made in the 1950s. 1950s!! I’m pretty certain even way back then people mostly frowned upon a necklace of this style. AND this is not some kind of African artifact. It’s made in ITALY. Am I overreacting? I don’t think so but I’m interested in other people’s perspectives. Who wears this? And who buys this? It just boggles my mind.

I have other things to write about the Fall Antique Show, but this necklace, man, it deserved it’s own post. Seriously, what would you do with this necklace if you found it in your possession? Melt it down? Wear it? Give it to a friend? “Happy birthday, I got you this statement necklace. I think it’s a Stella & Dot piece.”

For real, what does one do with a necklace like this? On the one hand it’s made of highly valuable materials, on the other hand there’s absolutely everything else. I’m lost. This is that moment where I’m all ” Wha? Huh? Um, what?” while scratching away at my head. It just does not compute.