11.4.14 the Gilmore conundrum

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If I were a graduate student studying modern American television (people totally do that, right? TV Studies? No?) I’d write my thesis on the Gilmore Girls. Specifically the dynamic between Lorelei Gilmore and Rory Gilmore. The title would be Lorelei & Rory: the role of the dominant and the submissive in family dynamics. And then I’d write about that. But since this is a blog, I get to cheat and invent imaginary thesis titles without actually needing to do any leg work.

Ugh! I can’t even explain the insidious addiction of this show. I never watched it first time around. Then when it became available on Netflix streaming I figured I ought to give it a shot because people I respect love it. It turns out it’s awful. But I can’t stop watching!

I hate Lorelei. She’s so smug and self absorbed. Basically selfishly forcing her daughter to be her best friend. I just can’t get behind this whole mom + daughter = best friend thing. It’s weird! Yo. I talk to my mom every day, I see her in person multiple times per week. I have a great relationship with my mom. But she’s my mom, not my best friend. Side note, I also find it creepy when spouses call each other “best friends”. Anyway, Lorelei is so intent on being “cool” and quasi witty that she’s awful and obnoxious to her entire community. Including her own parents! Come on already, grow up, Lorelei!

Oh, and the theme song? It’s the worst. THE WORST. For all the effort the show goes to name dropping bands (Belle & Sebastian, Metallica, I heard some Rammstein, Otis Redding) you’d think they would have a decent theme song. But no. It’s the worst. If you’re curious what song it is it’s Where You Lead by Carole King. Listen, I may be down with Linda Ronstadt but no thank you, Carole King. You can take what you are selling elsewhere.

Oh, hello broken English Korean mom. What are you doing here? Why? Why must Mrs. Kim speak broken English? Her grammar is nearly impeccable but the writer’s love dropping the verb every once in a while. It’s so inconsistent! ESL people tend to be consistent in the idiosyncrasies of their speech. The Vietnamese family down the street sell “gingersnappers” at their sandwich shop. Which I think is ridiculously cute, BUT it’s always gingersnappers. Well, except when it’s chocolate chip cookie day. Then there’s no gingersnappers. Consistency.

Besides, I can hear Mrs. Kim’s American accent behind the awful fake Korean accent. Why must they do this? There are so few Asians on TV to begin with, must the token ones be such a stereotype? I’m looking at you Two Broke Girls. You’re part of the problem, too.

So there’s a lot, A LOT that I dislike about this show and yet…. I can’t stop watching it. Where you lead, I will follow, apparently. Like a lobotomized rat, I hate the maze but I can’t escape it. Poor rat 😦

It’s Rory. She is the cheese that makes the maze worth while. But now she’s getting all mixed up with this bad kid, Jess. I’m worried she’s going to cheat on Dean. Stupid Lorelei almost had a decent moment of parenting, nearly pointing out this kid Jess’s many flaws, but then she blew it. As usual. So right now I’m just so concerned for Rory and her future. Oh, yeah, I like Paris, Kirk and Suki too. It’s these characters that outweigh the general awfulness of the show.

Now hush, Jess is cleaning the gutters and I know he has that bracelet of Rory’s. I just hope she figures out he is terrible before she jeopardizes her relationship.

Today’s bracelets are assymetrical brass Goodwill find now up at my shop, tiny HiHo Silver knot, cream Clic Clac, chain of silver hearts, and silver ID bracelet that read WWRS from Goodwill. I’m guessing that R is for Rita since she ‘loves ya’ on the flip side.

11.2.14 tired little doggy

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Sometimes a post must stay simple. Today’s bangles are a Goodwill brass bow cuff, horn bangles, Cartier Tank Française, Goodwill brass feather cuff, and my two Native American skinny silver cuffs.

Bandit sez “Don’t bother me now, some of us need our beauty sleep.”

11.1.14 no good

So I was extremely excited to brag a little about my day yesterday. It was quiet at the shop until LINDA RONSTADT walked in! She bought some soaps, and a nightgown. She hadn’t signed the back of her credit card and I made a little joke like “How on earth are you going to prove who you are?” Or something. I swear it was smoother than that, though. Anyways, she has shopped with me before but it still gives me a mild heart attack. LINDA RONSTADT.

She’s my most famous customer, though one time Danielle Steele’s assistant phoned looking for a full length, zip up cashmere robe. Because, who doesn’t need one of those? And Adam Savage from Myth Busters bought slippers once, but on a day I was out. And my silly 20 year old employee didn’t recognize him. Twenty year olds, I swear.

But so, I was all “I can’t wait to blog about this! This is the most exciting thing to happen to me.” That is, until the gunshots on my corner this morning.

Yep. Gunshots on my corner. If you know SF I bet you can guess where I live. It’s not Hunter’s Point, go with your second guess. This is part of the heart break about SF. I live across the street from a church, and behind the church are the projects. But on my block there are million dollar homes.

Everybody swarmed outside with the arrival of the cops, medics, and fire engines. My side of the street basically 100% white, the other side of the street 100% black. It’s shocking this clear cut division of racial and economic lines. White people = million dollar homes, black people = projects. Like I said, it’s heart breaking.

The shooting happened in our corner store, the ambulance rolled a black man out on the stretcher and loaded him in. An air mask was strapped to his face, so he wasn’t dead at the moment. But we don’t know now.

What I don’t understand is this: how are any guns ever allowed in SF proper? No one should have guns here, there is zero reason except to shoot a fellow human. Self defense argument or not, that means the only reason anyone carries a gun in this city is to shoot another person. We don’t have deer, we don’t have skeet shooting, the closest shooting range is in San Bruno. Again, the only reason a person in SF has a gun is to shoot another person. So it stuns me that the NRA recently lobbied for guns to be allowed in the projects. And they were successful.

That’s it. I’ll get off my soap box now. Argue with me if you want, and I’ll know you are the kind of person who thinks it’s acceptable for a human being to shoot another human being. It’s as simple as that.

3:30 PM UPDATE: the shooting victim died and the suspect is still at large.

Today’s bangles are Paris by Maximal Art, Paris themed charm bracelet from Goodwill, and Hermes Tohu Bohu bangle.

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10.28.14 concentrate and ask again later

IMG_2915.JPG There will be no end of orange and black in October. The amount of orange walking around SF today is impressive. Smart retailers should always send their surplus orange clothing to stores in our town. And Detroit. Because who buys orange? San Franciscans do. I’ve got my orange poof coat, orange (well coral) pants, orange dress, orange scarves. How much orange do you have in your closet? Probably not as much as I.

Anyway, today is kind of exciting. Grab a seat, my dear readers, because I’m about to tell you about IVF.

Today was the first ultrasound to start the process, which, if you recall, is round two for me and my husband. I’m trying not to be someone who fixates on it, because that only leads to disappointment. For that reason I plan to not blog about it all the time, either. Just be all casual like, you know?

But it’s so interesting, I thought people might like to know what it involves. If I only knew about this stuff when I was in school, I think I’d consider it as a career. And then, oh! The bangles I could buy!!

I’m going through IVF because I have a low egg reserve and I produce few eggs. My follicle count (yep! Like hair follicles, your eggs grow in follicles in your ovaries) is naturally about 1 or 2 per month. Most women are closer to 6 or 8. When one of the eggs reaches a mature size, you ovulate, which means the follicle ruptures releasing the egg. So even though usually just one egg releases, many others grow but don’t release and become reabsorbed. IVF tweaks your hormones to encourage follicular development and to hold off the ovulation process so as to collect multiple mature eggs.

My IVF process is called the Antagonist Protocol, which I’m certain my mother would agree is an apt name for any process of mine. Right now I’m taking some 25 or so vitamins, then in two days I start some baby aspirin and a giant antibiotic.

November 4th we get down to the shot business. For about two weeks, my honey shoots me in the gut morning and evening with a bunch of hormones to stimulate the follicles into production. Fortunately these shots do NOT make me a crazy lady. Unlike when I was taking these oral hormones similar to Clomid that made me so angry. I got in a fight with my honey about dinner and I was all “if he doesn’t want dinner, fine! Then we will never have dinner again! Fuck dinner!” And I threw out ALL of our food. There was even a moment in that mania where I stopped to question my actions, to analyze if I was acting crazy and then I was like “Nope! This is not crazy. He needs to be taught a lesson!”

So the injections are much preffered. But our neighbors must think we’re junkies because there we are, sitting in the living room, my honey injecting me in the gut for all the people across the street to see.

During this period of time, I pop over to Kaiser every other day or so to get blood tests and ultrasounds that monitor the growth progress. Which is super easy because we are just three blocks away from Kaiser.

Then, when the follicles reach the correct size, they harvest the eggs by knocking me unconscious. That same day they collect my husband’s “specimen”. That’s doctor code for he has to retreat to a closet in the office to jerk off into a cup. Making babies is sooooo romantic!

They combine the best quality eggs with the sperm, and presto! Test tube embryos! And then we wait three or five days (fingers crossed for five) as the cells divide. Judging on the quality of the embryos, they then return a small number to me.

And then we wait two weeks. Which is the worst worst worst part. There’s a little “what to expect about the process” video they make you watch that is all scientific until this part where the doctor says “Those two weeks will feel like they last forever.” The doctor! The other funny part of the video was after reinsertion the doctor says “Don’t worry, the embryos won’t fall out.” Clearly that is everyone’s concern so they had to address it.

My goals this time (which I have absolutely no control over) are to produce enough eggs, have enough of them fertilize properly so as to have left overs to put into deep freeze. It’ll save me from going through the injections again which also cuts down on the cost. Shit be expensive! Oh, to think of all the bangles I could have 😦

Final share about the process, this is where the magic of life kicked in. Some of my dad’s life insurance payments arrived just when the bills started. So it’s still going on the credit card for the points, but we have the cash to pay for it in our bank account. It makes me cry, I’m so grateful to my dad.

Anyways, there’s that. Lessons here: always sign up for life insurance, and ladiezzz, no matter your age you might want to ask your OB about your follicle count. I don’t know if my life would be different if I had known at age 28, but maybe. Any questions?

Today’s bangles are silver Goodwill find, a stone Goodwill find, orange and black Clic Clacs.

Men and hair and silver bracelets

Who watched The Walking Dead last night? How about The Talking Dead after? Did anybody else notice Slash’s jewelry?

IMG_2905.JPG This picture is from Mary Lynn Rajskb’s twitter account @rajskb. You may recognize her from 24. I, however did not, but from being Gail the Snail on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

But Slash. The man has a thing for silver. I know the hair, the hat, and the sunglasses are his trademark but does anyone ever see his eyeballs? This is coming from someone who frequently wears her sunglasses indoors. They are prescription lenses! I think the people at the supermarket understand.

Anyway, in my post from the other day Jack Flacco mentioned that my turquoise cuff bracelet looked like something Robert Plant would wear. He was so right! Look at this picture I found.

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(mid 1970s, Near Chicago, Illinois, USA — Robert Plant With Folded Arms — Image by © Neal Preston/CORBIS)

So much hair too. Sometimes I love a man with long hair, but I’m sorry Robert Plant, let me recommend a deep conditioning treatment for your whole situation there. Maybe the barber of Kashmir can do something with it.

Now Lenny Kravitz, man. This formerly big haired, much bejeweled rockstar made my tweenage heart beat faster.

IMG_2904.JPG I’m experiencing some serious heart palpitations even now! As I type! *fanning myself* Did you guys know he used to date Vanessa Paradis? The things you discover when you google Lenny Kravitz 1992.

Do you all see the connection between these men? Big ass hair that would put the ladies of Texas to shame, general shirtlessness (not on TTD obvi, but often you will find Slash shirtless) and huge statement wrist décor.

I guess if you swap out the shirtlessness for cowboy boots you could say these men are my style icons? :/ Nah, I’ll stick with Karen from Californication plus more bracelets as my style icon.

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10.25.14 pumpkin on the run

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IMG_2901.JPG So…. I did something. Remember the forlorn pumpkin from yesterday? I spent the day imagining the little kid who made it. He or she must be two or three. You know, too young to carve a pumpkin but old enough to want a pumpkin and to decorate it.

There’s a corner store on my walk to work that sells gourds (and Christmas trees, oddly, but that’s a different story) so I decided to get the sad pumpkin a friend. I was super pleased with myself until I arrived at the stoop. The sad little pumpkin was gone! With just a dirt ring to show where it used to be. I think some jerk probably stole it. It’s kind of a busy street like that, in the middle of the city.

I was in a quandary. Now my friend pumpkin would be all by itself if I left it. But the poor kid would have no pumpkins if I didn’t. Who am I kidding? I still planned to leave the pumpkin. So I did. My pumpkin replacement slash offering. Complete with stickers. Happy Halloween, kid.

My bracelet’s today are two horn bangles, my silver Tiffany’s bangle from Christmas 1993, and my Tuareg ebony and pounded silver cuff I used to wear everyday in the year 2K.

10.23.14 blue and gold

IMG_2880.JPG Today my UP gets a moment in the spotlight! It goes with the little turquoise bracelet so I figured, what the heck? It’s paired with my dad’s watch, which it turns out I have to wear to keep the time running. I’m also wearing a little Native American silver and turquoise cuff, and my asymmetrical brass wire cuff from Goodwill.

Dude, I am dragging today. My mom would blame the low barometric pressure and this funky weather we’re having in Sauna Francisco. It’s so warm! Hot even! And with our drought going on, I’m worried. I woke up the other morning smelling smoke, convinced something nearby was on fire. But it was a remanent of a dream. I blame my dragging on staying awake too late last night. And the low barometric pressure, I think my mom is right on that one.

Great news though, I sold a painting yesterday! So I hustled my butt this morning to get it to the shippers before work. Here it is below, it has a highly reflective surface so the glare is huge. Farewell “The Sub”! Hope you enjoy your new home in Minnesota! Better you than me!

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Taxco

No, this is not an accounting post.

Taxco, Mexico sits atop a great big silver mine. It’s from where (whence, dude, whence) most Mexican silver originates. In my collection my silver pieces are either Tiffany’s, Native American or Taxco. That was probably the single most snobbiest sentence I’ve ever written. All my jewels are Tiffany’s, dahling. And when I don’t shop Tiffany’s I jet down to Taxco. En e weigh, when a tumblr slash website Mexican Silver Store started following me, my eyes popped open. Mexican silver = candy for Margaret and I was not disappointed.

But what I did not anticipate is the copper. The copper! Wow, so pretty. I don’t have any copper jewelry, do you? Brass, silver, nickel, rubber, gold, sure but not copper.

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$79.95 for a pair of bangles! And I have the 10% discount code which is Tumblr

I probably won’t pull the trigger because it is actually pretty uncommon for me to buy the items I lust after but… I do want this! I must remind myself this is why I have a blog, to lust by proxy.

What do you think about the layered clamp bracelet?
Also $79.95

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Cleopatra would probably wear a set of matching ones on each wrist.

But hold up a second, here is the tour de force on the Mexican Silver website. Some background first. When my honey and I visit Mexico we stay at Cabo Pulmo which is in Baja where there are a lot of camarones to be had. This means, I order camarones for every single meal. So I MUST HAVE this skrimps bangle.

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It seems appropriate to express my food preferences via my bracelets. I am that type of lady. Hellllooooooooo Tiffany’s! Bet Tiffany’s is re-examining their database now and plink, I think I just heard my name removed from their mailing list.

It was worth it!! Je regrette rien! Come this way, camarones, I promise to offer you a nice home.

10.19.14 lazy sunday

IMG_2851.JPG Today is a football watching, novel reading, chip eating, dog napping lazy Sunday. How’s it in your neck of the woods?

Today’s bangles: turquoise and silver cuff stamped by Marie B., turquoise and silver bracelet my dad got in Mexico, and a silver and maybe amber cuff a former roommate picked up for me in Thailand.